Thursday, May 22, 2008

Too soon!

There is some energy inside. Something growing. A grillage failure that I knew would come, but expected to happen months later. This is far too soon. And the
wreckage seems it's going to be just as strong as if the construction had lasted the year I expected.

This is far too soon.

I was hoping for one of those summers. I was interested in one of those time frames where I climbed out of a valley I didn't know I was in and basked in a sun that
I really wasn't aware of. One of those summers where it's good to be wet in the sun and feel the grit of sand in your food. Where the fan is loud and chatting is
it's most comfortable. When the movies don't matter because it's not the point of the movie. Big hugs under full moons and gazing into a brilliant gaze.

I held her in my arms and cradled her head to my chest enrapt with the look of comfort and ease in her face. She would close her eyes and purr as my squeeze grew stronger
and pulled her closer into me, hanging her head back exposing her neck. That thin smirk of pleasure breaking across her face.


Every bit of my chemistry is screaming! Every sinew is crying out! Every bit of calmness is broken. There is a deep and desperate din, now just little more then a
whisper, getting louder from someplace deep and miles inside. An area of expression not heard in ages. A power not felt for an eternity. It's siesmic energy poised and
ready to lash out screaming what I don't want to hear. Acknowleding what I would rather not know. Forcing into me what I would rather not admit.


But I have Motoko. I miss what what little there was, but I have Motoko. And Motoko's call is sweet and soulfull. Her demands are clear. The failure to heed
terminal. But damn, does her engine bellow a sweet warning. That red heart spinning with vim and aggression, her note wavering as she rotates and laughs at the idea of
traction. Where I can't hold, I can accellerate. Where I can't be held, I can relax and drift. Where I can't be kissed, I can brake deep into the objective with power
and smoothness. And where I can yell and scream out a deep desperate cry I would rather not existed, Motoko can go positive ambient and crush the gainsayers while
ripping out her mellow roar.

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