Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Chapter 7: Splash and Bug

You're kidding right?
Are you really saying this to me?

I am I!
Wrought with anger and purpose,
forged of calculation and velocity,
and christened with the roar of internal combustion.
There is no greater rage in all the BG's!
At times smooth and graceful.
At times explosive and decisive.
I shall not be hemmed in.
I shall not be ashamed!

My core: a subtle expression,
more delicate then I ever knew,
more convoluted then I ever imagined,
more powerful then I ever dreamed.
And now I realize for the first time ever, likely to be alone forever.

There is no more wonderous equation then that of an honest heart!
All thanx to dayspring.

Yes Alfred, I have loved and lost
and for the good as well.
You see, the extension of my arm,
the offerring of my hand,
the opening of my heart,
is always an invitation into the heavens.
From which, I will not step down.
I can not step down.
I will not go down there again.
Down there into those dusty throes of mediocrity and safety.
The temporality of flesh.
A lifetime without velocity.
A lifetime without flow states.
Traded for a lifetime of fear and safety.
Ending in regret.

So it's loss again.
And to that I say good.
For I have only one master.

But for you Pygmalion, I have only one answer,
and it's now approaching from your six at mach 5!

Friday, October 17, 2008

Chapter 6: Ramp up

I'm coming through the bottom of the bell curve now
A violent swing upwards that's making straight my brow
and watery my eyes
I'm sure it won't take too many of such days to get over these cycles
But I'm here in it now
So let's run with it.
Let's use it to fight with
Let's shake with this rage
Every sinew ready
Every nerve on alert
Every part of my body mercurial with withdrawal

I recognize you Elke
Here again in different form
No less majestic then before
and scared
Those layers of emotional distance
fortified with layers of physical distance
and time
Hallmarks of the weak

I am not the man you encountered the first time
completely unaware of the trap you had no idea you were setting
I am no longer the man that steps into the binders having recognized the pattern
That fortress around my heart glistening and reaching into the heavens
Yet there is a door that will open for you if you commit.

I will always love you San,
whatever form you take,
my warrior princess,
Queen of Moro.
I am yours for the chasing.
The risk yours to take.
You can have me if you want me,
but the work is yours to do!
It's my heart that needs convincing
It's my path that you must follow

I have a fight to fight
come along side and throw
or bug out

Below the layer

What a killer morning
In a lights out REM conveyance
through places far richer then here
Or up there at the surface in Everyday
Through those places I walked
That shop holding that brilliant man
at the floor of Carbon Canyon
"You are not there in the surface version!"
Yours: A wheeled sea of gray whatever
Dotted by those gems of 555
You: The emotive behind their motive!
"Yes sir, I will give them your love",
though I suspect it's only I that knows you.

WTF is wrong with me?!?

So I walk
stumbling into places that aren't known
Escape perhaps from being labelled as ugly
But I know that's not the case
These wanderings into dark dens
filled with purveyors of confusion and dred
Familiar, but not real
Fear generators in the interest of warning

But that's all behind by some ways
and the sun is out
Morning light on incarnadine formations
Afill with narrow passages and equipment
Those freindly and feminine modern alchemist
That spent assistant in wanna-be-jimmy-buffet
All setting me down into the cool embrace of friendly chatter

But from the aft decks of submerged boats
That urgent feeling grows strong
This comfort is bad!
That cooing about over Staggerwing drops
in a now transitioning background
fading away for good

Thursday, October 16, 2008

The plot thickens

I am definitely working a different modus these days. One that is not entirely stable. Near emotional extremes with brutal transitions. I'm not depressed, down, sad, or whatever, but I've certainly hit some lows. One of them dished out via my employer (tho in all honestly, not entirely their fault). The highs on the other hand have been stellar. These aren't merely contrived or the results of some chemical imbalance (:rofl:) either. Some absolutely wonderful things have happened.

I'm smiling even thinking about this stuff. I'm smiling even though I feel I'm on the edge of a precipice. Even though I feel empty and queasy.

Funny enough, even my workouts are affected by this whatever. Same goes for my diet. Some weeks back (about 4 now) I finally decided that I'm going to go back to doing what I know is right for me. Eating in a way that I know is good for my body. I'm not entirely sure I'm doing it right as I feel like I'm starving nearly all the time, but then I spent a good deal of my 20's feeling like I was starving. Tons and tons of water, fruit, vegetables, and some meat every now and then. I do know a heck of a lot more then I did back then so I've allready began to make appropriate adjustments.

The workouts on the other hand have become like an audience with a monster. A showcase of raw energy and aural rage. Funny that considering I have the hardest time just starting a workout. Once there however, I feel like Leonidas.

As a matter of fact, all of life has me feeling like Leonidas these days.

Maybe it's just when I slow down that the tears come.

Whatever the case, this is the onset of tumult. A time I know is going to require delicate steps.

But why all the fanfare when I know the answers?

Monday, October 13, 2008

This is what I'm talking about!

Redblocks fool!



That first Volvo, at full boost is making over 900 HP!

Saturday, October 11, 2008

Garbage

And here I am again
Going qwerty to blast out a line of thought
A line of vanity
While the noise churns away in the background
That infernal smoke rising
"What am I doing here?"
The King of Speed
Destroyer of worlds
Crafter of logic
And most of all, one of those vain men

Yeah, it would appear my resolve is less then I thought
Less strong then the lyrical suggestions of lore and song
Bellicose and ridiculous rantings
Weighting nothing

But whatever the case, it's time to try again
Yeah, one more try
Because I know someone did not give up on me
To his very end with mouth shut
My friend
My master
Where has my heart been?
To where have my eyes wandered?

Thursday, October 09, 2008

Chapter 4: redress

Not even yet dry,
I knew it was you the moment the phone rang!

--------------

"Bogey six! Bogey six!", screamed systems on both aircraft. About the same time, a jolt of electricity was blasted through the bodies of the pilots in their respective aircraft to make sure they woke. Anviyell in a state of shock as he came to the surface from an ocean of sleep to be pounded with the blaring alarms of an impending attack. BDKR yelling "Scopes! Scopes!" in a sudden blast of anger to get his aircraft to show the position and speed of the inbound relative to his own. Both aircraft autopilots aware of where they were in relation to one another and the inbound, and aware of the still groggy state of their drivers, neither of which had made any direct inputs into the controls, split in oppossing directions, engines at full mill with the cans lit. Ascending 6g reversals with trails of flares streaming aft.

"Inbound! Inbound!", voices screamed in both aircraft. BDKR, going left and half way through his reversal, his head cocked back peering into the darkness.

"Inbound Volley! Inbound Volley!", the systems once again yelled.

"What the hell?!", BDRK screamed into his mask. Anviyell registering about the same thought.

Flare streams now joined by chaff generators desperately spat ordinance in an effort to
confound the inbound vampires, completely unseen against the glistening reflections of the moon on the face of Davey Jones locker.

"Miss! Miss!" the systems screamed. Flashes of light blooming aft and below as both planes continued seperation and passed through 1.5.

"Spool plasma!", BDKR barked into the radio. "Two! Continue uphill! Call home!". Anviyell pulling the stick back a little farther and passing through 50K. BDKR, punched in a bit more left bank and a boot full of left rudder to help get his bird into a down hill attitude, idled the motors and popped the boards for a few moments as he unloaded the plane and the tail came over the top. Then the airframe shook and rumbled in a fit of dead serious rumble and buffet as he scrubbed speed and brought the nose up and around. A brief momment of eerie and peaceful bliss with nothing more then the groaning of the airframe, soothing electronic report from the flight systems, and that full moon night time ocean spread out below him. Small tufts of clounds in lazy formations glowing madly.

"I'm not going swimming tonight", he spoke softly, blinking to fight the blur from his eyes. He eased his pull, cleaned up, rolled nearly level, and pushed the throttles forward to stage 8 to
regain air speed. The engines roaring back to life. The spatial display in the heads up going fuzzy as he realized that the first salvo masked a huge chaff discharge.

"Ha haaa... I got something for you", he smirked. "Pickle p spread", he muttered in a voice a lot less demanding and far more smug then only moments before. A volley of 5 small missles racing forward from his aircraft tracking to a point sure the cover the attackers plot of highest probablity and exploding into huge clouds of magnetic and luminescent paint. Billowing bluish green and eerily for a moment before a shape blasted through it in a heading that brought it
low to his left and passing aft.

"YEEAAAHHHH!!!!!", BDKR growled as he rolled nearly inverted and pulled. "Tallyho! Devil at 11 o'clock low heading 090."

"Jason Jason Jason. Tokyo Delta Brainchild. Domino flight in furball with one. Spool the fountains!", Anviyell spoke to Indie Station for the Atlantic BG.

"Copy Domino flight", came a cool reply. "Package in route".

BDKR was now pulling 9 g's to bring the random on target while activating the camera zoom. "Why does that plane look so familiar?", he said as the image came to life in the HUD.

"Don't tell me you know this gomer", responded Anviyell.

"Sorry, but I do. It's Dido!"

--------------

Why, Elishat, have you come back?
Can I stand more longing?
Are you ready to fight?

Tuesday, October 07, 2008

Famine

Logic
That cold and unwavering freind
Loyal to the end
Stronger even then my very heart
That synonym for my love for you

Against the blackness of night
and the cruelty of a peircing ocean breeze
you let me hold you.
Pleasure not known for ages,
the mere embrace.
And like an image from Klimt,
I cradled your head close to my chest.
Slowly nuzzling and melding
Sounding into the deepest sea of intimacy.

Again, I was where dreamt.

Logic says,
"Dearest Elissa,
Siren of Anatolia
Queen of Carthage
The borders of my heart are boundless
and of depth without end
Yours for the sounding
Please don't paint my heart green
or cash in on my emotion.
Please don't say that "That" kiss was for not".

Sunday, October 05, 2008

Code Igniter

ROCKS!!!!!

I've always respected it more then the other gigantor frameworks, but now that I'm using it for VFBG, I just can't be happier.

Thursday, October 02, 2008

The VFBG lives!

VFBG net and org are already resolving! I updated the name servers with the registrar not more then 90 minutes back.

Righteous stuff that mate!

My boy

Wednesday, October 01, 2008

Just some pics

A guy I know name John Lane rally races a Volvo 240. Here is a killer pic of it.





That's just gorgeous!

On a different front, I'm starting the site for the VFBG. Here's a screen shot from my laptop.





Nice and clean. Black and with with a simple gradient.

Forget to add this earlier: The first picture is from Kanokus Photography. The are at http://www.kanokusphotography.com/. Check 'em out!