Monday, December 01, 2008

Chapter 9: Evermore

On that sill
On that canopy written there
There's my name
Emblazoned and read with fear

"There's this march, there is this war
There's this rage as Evermore
Unlike my heart temporal
My fathers words perennial"

And that day
Shook green leaves white clouds ephemeral
Systems sang
Displays blossomed with a soft unfurl

"There's this warm gentle wind
There's this hope that none can rend
Coursing through earthen veins
There is his love that always mends"

Chorus:
There's rage in the Lakewood Den and
There's tumult in my heart
'Cause there is love coursing through my viens
Requesting that you be a part.

I promise you Evermore!

In that sky
In that space we built Evermore
Twixt the storms
Hidden our dream and passioned lore

"There's this fine turbine scream
There are these engines sounds as dream
Rumbling bone, flesh, sinew
Shaking leaves wet with morning dew"

And that day
Shook green leaves white clouds ephemeral
And my heart sang
As I opened to you with soft unfurl

"There's these fists there are these hands
Their power rippling through the lands
Powered by my fathers words
As evermore as times eternal sands"

Chorus:
There's rage in the Lakewood Den and
There's tumult in my heart
'Cause there is love coursing through my viens
Requesting you be a part.

I promise you Evermore!

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Ruminations

After a far more productive day working in hell on a Buick Century (blown headgasket), I popped into the pad to have a cup of hot brown and relax a little. On
goes Top Gear and everything is good right? Watching episode 2 from Season 11, I can't help but think just how right on Jezza's diatribe about the serenity (not really
the word I want but it'll do for now) of just going for a drive or ride and being alone really is.

The last 7 years I spent in California was in Monterey Bay and most of that someplace in Santa Cruz county. At the time I lived somewhere between 50 and 65 miles from
work. Most wouldn't put up with such a commute and chose to live someplace a lot closer. The choice most often made was Salinas, which anyone who has ever been there
knows that it's really nothing more then an over sized truck stop come shooting gallery. Prolly has something to do with all the families of incarcerated convicts 20
minutes down the road at Soledad.

So yeah, the place was bunk. I lived there for exactly one year then boltered north. A short stint (3 months?) in the herione laden town of Gilroy, then I broke left to
270 and landed in one of the best places I ever lived and met one of the best poeple I ever met. La Selva Beach and Lily Cogan.

But....., uhhhh...., I'm getting off topic.

The cool thing about living in Monterey Bay was the extreme abundance of killer roads, killer weather, killer views, killer beaches, and that mad commute I had. I
essentially spent 2 hours a day in my car and was knocking over miles at the rate of 2200 A MONTH!

But here is the cool thing, and the true reason for this rant: I loved it. On any day, I had choice after choice of routes to take. The evenings on the return home often
provided that night time central coast ambiance (normally fog) with very few cars to share it with. Everything from bumpy farming roads with huge 100+ (Yeah!) sweepers
to narrow two lanes with branches hanging out over the road and fast a$$ blind corners cut into the sides of hills. From time to time my radar detector chirping as it caught
errant whiffs of CHP K band bouncing about.

Every night after work I was faced with the quandry of what route to take and what exactly was my driving mood. Did I want to relax and just enjoy the scenery?
In that case I could've stayed on 101 and just cruised with the lorries, but the normal choice was to head for the base of the mountains on the west side of
Salinas Valley then head north. Sometimes towards Montery then heading south from Laguna Seca over a high and gorgous vista with a view of the Pacific then down into
Carmel Valley. Other times was a trek that would take me due west from that ghetto mall in Salinas and 101 through more farming roads that rolled up and down endlessly.
Bits of farming shizzle parked here and there and the occasional house in seas of cabbage bathed in full moon blue. Roads so narrow that the only time I dared blast
through there was in the dead of night when even the chickens and barn rats were sure to be asleep as opposed to out on the road to be turned into road carpet by my
Cocteau Twins blasting Subaru Legacy wagon. That road eventually ending with a turn north west towards Castroville and eventually, the biggest tease and dream of all,
Moss Landing. The absolute middle of the bay and dotted with examples of a potential lifetime never to be realized.

Oh well...

This for me was essentially a seven year age of introspection. Introspection puncatuated with great music, great food, great people, great trips, and the occasional
terror of overcooking corners (I really should be dead now!).

That said, let me also say that there are two kinds of fast people. Those that are just naturally fast (seemingly fearless happy go lucky loons that
instead of having 100 yard stares go about with a whacky gazes and jesters hats) and those with a natural affinity and apptitude for going fast. A very big yet very
subtle difference. Far more of us in this ilk are of the latter type, and for us, introspection is the corner stone of our profession/obsession. Somehow we find
comfort at an elevated pace as our minds slip into a different level of operation. Our situational awarness shoots through the roof and our bodily sensors increase in
sensitivity. We slip into flow states and begin to process information at a rate far greater then the tosser on a major highway that's bored into trance by the painted
lines slipping past. Every change in attitude sensed, every protest of the tires felt, braking points and corner speed calculated and decided upon without any
conscious consdiration. Every wiggle and slide noted at a rate that's far more impressive then any multi-pipeline RISC processor could every hope to match.

Isn't that what it is that we really dig? Taking a machine, whether it be motorcycle, car, skateboard, or fighter, and venturing out to someplace close to our limits, if
not over them. And as our skills increase, venturing out to the limits of our machines or conveyances. And it's not even so much the machine as it is what the machine
allows or makes possible for us to experience. The chance to open up our senses and operate closer to our fullest capability by controlling vehicles that are far more
capable then our bodies alone. To feel forces acting upon us that we just can't attain merely from running or jumping.

Here is a quick little story that sums it up well in my opinion. When I was kid in my early teens, me and the rest of the idiots in my neighborhood had our BMX bikes and
like to build jumps just like idiots all over the world. I one day went outside on my then Schwinn Scrambler to find my mates building a dirt ramp on the side of this
driveway that ended up being nearly 3 feet high. This had some potential I thought. After watching a bunch of the other kids just kind of barely go over, I got fed up,
talked some crap, then headed down the street a little for my turn. I put everything I had in getting up to speed for that jump. After launch, I wound up being nearly
two feet higher then the heads of the rest of the idiots standing by watching. While being six feet in the air and blasting along, I was also giggling my arse off! Stuff
like that tickled me straight to my core!

And that says it well. Big jumps, drifts, backing it in, feeling that hit when a big turbo finally spools up, big airs on vert ramps, or whatever it is that makes you
feel good.

Anyway, I've come to realize that my time out there in Santa Cruz has been the benchmark that the quality of my life is judged
against. On almost every level. Personal growth, freinds, travel, music, writing, and just as important as all the previous, driving and riding fast.
Thinking about going fast and actually going fast in a such an incredible part of the world is the one thing that will remain with me forever and color my view of things
until I'm dead and roots are digging through my carcass. And just as important as that, those clear, cold, sparkling, full moon, Montery Bay
evenings experienced alone with just the sound of the engine or songs like Sultitan Itan were most precious.

I doubt that those who've never lived such a life can ever hope to understand.

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Suckers Song

Anviyell
Elvaleethia
Arya
And the court of the Pacific BG's
Rise and be glad
Stand and shout
For the Lakewood Den lives
It's leader breaking free of the spell

But go about quietly
and speak about respectfully
and treat his soul with dignity
for he now sings the suckers song
and struggles with his own stick

Anviyell
Elvaleethia
Arya
And the consortium of propulsion
Rise and show support
Bristle with a warriors cavort
For the Lakewood Den lives
It's leader fighting and unfelled

But go about sadly
yet speak about gladly
and respect the pain highly
for BDKR now sings the suckers song
and is fighting that addiction of old

Saturday, November 01, 2008

Object/Relational Mapping is the Vietnam of Computer Science

While writing some copy for the 15 Dragonflies site I'm developing, I did a little research to make certain my ideas on a couple of things and stumbled onto a page / list entry with the title above. The title alone caused me a good deal of laughter, but the ensuing discussion is downright sick.

Austin Ziegler does a very good job of talking about the issues surrounding OO databases and touches lightly on other issues that result for the "Impedance Mismatch" that OODBMS vendors like to banter about. As a matter of fact, he's a far less abrasive version of Fabian Pascal, but no less entertaining at the same time.

I'm certainly glad to read this stuff from time to time. Especially in light of my present circumstances and my decision to roll my own as opposed to working for blokes on band wagons. Being told that you suck because you aren't good at doing something that sucks, well...., SUCKS!

What do I suck at? Well, I'm glad you asked. I suck at accepting the idea that these bloated carcass frameworks like Cake and Ruby on Rails are great. I suck at the idea of accepting XML as the best thing since sliced bread. I suck at accepting the idea that the extremely expensive overhead of OR mapping is to be accepted.

I wonder if 15 Dragonflies is the first development house to openly eschew this folly and call it for what it is.

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Chapter 7: Splash and Bug

You're kidding right?
Are you really saying this to me?

I am I!
Wrought with anger and purpose,
forged of calculation and velocity,
and christened with the roar of internal combustion.
There is no greater rage in all the BG's!
At times smooth and graceful.
At times explosive and decisive.
I shall not be hemmed in.
I shall not be ashamed!

My core: a subtle expression,
more delicate then I ever knew,
more convoluted then I ever imagined,
more powerful then I ever dreamed.
And now I realize for the first time ever, likely to be alone forever.

There is no more wonderous equation then that of an honest heart!
All thanx to dayspring.

Yes Alfred, I have loved and lost
and for the good as well.
You see, the extension of my arm,
the offerring of my hand,
the opening of my heart,
is always an invitation into the heavens.
From which, I will not step down.
I can not step down.
I will not go down there again.
Down there into those dusty throes of mediocrity and safety.
The temporality of flesh.
A lifetime without velocity.
A lifetime without flow states.
Traded for a lifetime of fear and safety.
Ending in regret.

So it's loss again.
And to that I say good.
For I have only one master.

But for you Pygmalion, I have only one answer,
and it's now approaching from your six at mach 5!

Friday, October 17, 2008

Chapter 6: Ramp up

I'm coming through the bottom of the bell curve now
A violent swing upwards that's making straight my brow
and watery my eyes
I'm sure it won't take too many of such days to get over these cycles
But I'm here in it now
So let's run with it.
Let's use it to fight with
Let's shake with this rage
Every sinew ready
Every nerve on alert
Every part of my body mercurial with withdrawal

I recognize you Elke
Here again in different form
No less majestic then before
and scared
Those layers of emotional distance
fortified with layers of physical distance
and time
Hallmarks of the weak

I am not the man you encountered the first time
completely unaware of the trap you had no idea you were setting
I am no longer the man that steps into the binders having recognized the pattern
That fortress around my heart glistening and reaching into the heavens
Yet there is a door that will open for you if you commit.

I will always love you San,
whatever form you take,
my warrior princess,
Queen of Moro.
I am yours for the chasing.
The risk yours to take.
You can have me if you want me,
but the work is yours to do!
It's my heart that needs convincing
It's my path that you must follow

I have a fight to fight
come along side and throw
or bug out

Below the layer

What a killer morning
In a lights out REM conveyance
through places far richer then here
Or up there at the surface in Everyday
Through those places I walked
That shop holding that brilliant man
at the floor of Carbon Canyon
"You are not there in the surface version!"
Yours: A wheeled sea of gray whatever
Dotted by those gems of 555
You: The emotive behind their motive!
"Yes sir, I will give them your love",
though I suspect it's only I that knows you.

WTF is wrong with me?!?

So I walk
stumbling into places that aren't known
Escape perhaps from being labelled as ugly
But I know that's not the case
These wanderings into dark dens
filled with purveyors of confusion and dred
Familiar, but not real
Fear generators in the interest of warning

But that's all behind by some ways
and the sun is out
Morning light on incarnadine formations
Afill with narrow passages and equipment
Those freindly and feminine modern alchemist
That spent assistant in wanna-be-jimmy-buffet
All setting me down into the cool embrace of friendly chatter

But from the aft decks of submerged boats
That urgent feeling grows strong
This comfort is bad!
That cooing about over Staggerwing drops
in a now transitioning background
fading away for good

Thursday, October 16, 2008

The plot thickens

I am definitely working a different modus these days. One that is not entirely stable. Near emotional extremes with brutal transitions. I'm not depressed, down, sad, or whatever, but I've certainly hit some lows. One of them dished out via my employer (tho in all honestly, not entirely their fault). The highs on the other hand have been stellar. These aren't merely contrived or the results of some chemical imbalance (:rofl:) either. Some absolutely wonderful things have happened.

I'm smiling even thinking about this stuff. I'm smiling even though I feel I'm on the edge of a precipice. Even though I feel empty and queasy.

Funny enough, even my workouts are affected by this whatever. Same goes for my diet. Some weeks back (about 4 now) I finally decided that I'm going to go back to doing what I know is right for me. Eating in a way that I know is good for my body. I'm not entirely sure I'm doing it right as I feel like I'm starving nearly all the time, but then I spent a good deal of my 20's feeling like I was starving. Tons and tons of water, fruit, vegetables, and some meat every now and then. I do know a heck of a lot more then I did back then so I've allready began to make appropriate adjustments.

The workouts on the other hand have become like an audience with a monster. A showcase of raw energy and aural rage. Funny that considering I have the hardest time just starting a workout. Once there however, I feel like Leonidas.

As a matter of fact, all of life has me feeling like Leonidas these days.

Maybe it's just when I slow down that the tears come.

Whatever the case, this is the onset of tumult. A time I know is going to require delicate steps.

But why all the fanfare when I know the answers?

Monday, October 13, 2008

This is what I'm talking about!

Redblocks fool!



That first Volvo, at full boost is making over 900 HP!

Saturday, October 11, 2008

Garbage

And here I am again
Going qwerty to blast out a line of thought
A line of vanity
While the noise churns away in the background
That infernal smoke rising
"What am I doing here?"
The King of Speed
Destroyer of worlds
Crafter of logic
And most of all, one of those vain men

Yeah, it would appear my resolve is less then I thought
Less strong then the lyrical suggestions of lore and song
Bellicose and ridiculous rantings
Weighting nothing

But whatever the case, it's time to try again
Yeah, one more try
Because I know someone did not give up on me
To his very end with mouth shut
My friend
My master
Where has my heart been?
To where have my eyes wandered?

Thursday, October 09, 2008

Chapter 4: redress

Not even yet dry,
I knew it was you the moment the phone rang!

--------------

"Bogey six! Bogey six!", screamed systems on both aircraft. About the same time, a jolt of electricity was blasted through the bodies of the pilots in their respective aircraft to make sure they woke. Anviyell in a state of shock as he came to the surface from an ocean of sleep to be pounded with the blaring alarms of an impending attack. BDKR yelling "Scopes! Scopes!" in a sudden blast of anger to get his aircraft to show the position and speed of the inbound relative to his own. Both aircraft autopilots aware of where they were in relation to one another and the inbound, and aware of the still groggy state of their drivers, neither of which had made any direct inputs into the controls, split in oppossing directions, engines at full mill with the cans lit. Ascending 6g reversals with trails of flares streaming aft.

"Inbound! Inbound!", voices screamed in both aircraft. BDKR, going left and half way through his reversal, his head cocked back peering into the darkness.

"Inbound Volley! Inbound Volley!", the systems once again yelled.

"What the hell?!", BDRK screamed into his mask. Anviyell registering about the same thought.

Flare streams now joined by chaff generators desperately spat ordinance in an effort to
confound the inbound vampires, completely unseen against the glistening reflections of the moon on the face of Davey Jones locker.

"Miss! Miss!" the systems screamed. Flashes of light blooming aft and below as both planes continued seperation and passed through 1.5.

"Spool plasma!", BDKR barked into the radio. "Two! Continue uphill! Call home!". Anviyell pulling the stick back a little farther and passing through 50K. BDKR, punched in a bit more left bank and a boot full of left rudder to help get his bird into a down hill attitude, idled the motors and popped the boards for a few moments as he unloaded the plane and the tail came over the top. Then the airframe shook and rumbled in a fit of dead serious rumble and buffet as he scrubbed speed and brought the nose up and around. A brief momment of eerie and peaceful bliss with nothing more then the groaning of the airframe, soothing electronic report from the flight systems, and that full moon night time ocean spread out below him. Small tufts of clounds in lazy formations glowing madly.

"I'm not going swimming tonight", he spoke softly, blinking to fight the blur from his eyes. He eased his pull, cleaned up, rolled nearly level, and pushed the throttles forward to stage 8 to
regain air speed. The engines roaring back to life. The spatial display in the heads up going fuzzy as he realized that the first salvo masked a huge chaff discharge.

"Ha haaa... I got something for you", he smirked. "Pickle p spread", he muttered in a voice a lot less demanding and far more smug then only moments before. A volley of 5 small missles racing forward from his aircraft tracking to a point sure the cover the attackers plot of highest probablity and exploding into huge clouds of magnetic and luminescent paint. Billowing bluish green and eerily for a moment before a shape blasted through it in a heading that brought it
low to his left and passing aft.

"YEEAAAHHHH!!!!!", BDKR growled as he rolled nearly inverted and pulled. "Tallyho! Devil at 11 o'clock low heading 090."

"Jason Jason Jason. Tokyo Delta Brainchild. Domino flight in furball with one. Spool the fountains!", Anviyell spoke to Indie Station for the Atlantic BG.

"Copy Domino flight", came a cool reply. "Package in route".

BDKR was now pulling 9 g's to bring the random on target while activating the camera zoom. "Why does that plane look so familiar?", he said as the image came to life in the HUD.

"Don't tell me you know this gomer", responded Anviyell.

"Sorry, but I do. It's Dido!"

--------------

Why, Elishat, have you come back?
Can I stand more longing?
Are you ready to fight?

Tuesday, October 07, 2008

Famine

Logic
That cold and unwavering freind
Loyal to the end
Stronger even then my very heart
That synonym for my love for you

Against the blackness of night
and the cruelty of a peircing ocean breeze
you let me hold you.
Pleasure not known for ages,
the mere embrace.
And like an image from Klimt,
I cradled your head close to my chest.
Slowly nuzzling and melding
Sounding into the deepest sea of intimacy.

Again, I was where dreamt.

Logic says,
"Dearest Elissa,
Siren of Anatolia
Queen of Carthage
The borders of my heart are boundless
and of depth without end
Yours for the sounding
Please don't paint my heart green
or cash in on my emotion.
Please don't say that "That" kiss was for not".

Sunday, October 05, 2008

Code Igniter

ROCKS!!!!!

I've always respected it more then the other gigantor frameworks, but now that I'm using it for VFBG, I just can't be happier.

Thursday, October 02, 2008

The VFBG lives!

VFBG net and org are already resolving! I updated the name servers with the registrar not more then 90 minutes back.

Righteous stuff that mate!

My boy

Wednesday, October 01, 2008

Just some pics

A guy I know name John Lane rally races a Volvo 240. Here is a killer pic of it.





That's just gorgeous!

On a different front, I'm starting the site for the VFBG. Here's a screen shot from my laptop.





Nice and clean. Black and with with a simple gradient.

Forget to add this earlier: The first picture is from Kanokus Photography. The are at http://www.kanokusphotography.com/. Check 'em out!

Monday, September 29, 2008

Chapter 4: Love and ACM

And now I'm here!
Fully committed!
Fully engaged!
Gleaming titanium curvy in area rule,
covering spinning and pounding hearts of the most cool and calculating rage.
Glorious logic and amalgams of human interest and metallurgy.
The roar of those hearts grandeurous and terrible.
Wings as strong my savior himself.
The nimbus tremble and applaud.
The birds dive.

Don't throw stones at sleeping lions my dear.
Don't wake my longing.
A monster of incredible power,
unfelled from these skies.
Many waters have never defeated true love,
nor will they!
That monster at my very core bellowing his constant din
The shock waves rippling outward
Those shoulders, bristling with a barely controlled energy,
and concern.

To my equal: do I not term you as "My Equal"?
I challenge you to commit!
You've tempted.
You've hinted.
You've prodded.
Now commit, and know the most incredible dog fight you will ever know.
I am now awake and sparkling with rage.
I an now high in the heavens and unloading over the top
Those motive power plants, emotive and crushing, nominal and at 100 percent
My random on target
That final step, to answer the growling of that missle,
desiring much to fly.
That missle hard wired to my heart.
I have only to fire.

So to my equal, I bid you commit
And if not, bug out!
And be good at the bugging!
Your next query aloft will meet with apathy!

Friday, September 26, 2008

Chapter 3

I have more then enough fuel for this trip
so I'll enjoy the climb out, afterburners alight.
The lights of the Canaries twinkling to the South West.
I should never have been here.
Here, in Baal-Peor.
Haunted by the wondrous scents of Solomons downfall.

The blood of Phinehas courses through me!
What else should I have wanted?
What else could I have needed?
My truest love, an anchor in reality and eternity
The provider of what's timely and needful,
however temporal.
Let the set of my brow not waver.

Know this, fellow wrestlers, that I am yet uncommitted.
Having not known, I still hoped that she would see as did Ruth
And still do even now
But I will not give chase!
Only bits of data, as seeds towards a future germination, should it occur.
A hopeful blossom sprouting from good ground,
born for the endeavor.

So let's let the engines sing
and head downhill
Those small lights out there on the water:
vessels full of souls that will only hear
as we blast Red Route 1 just over the water
Southward to the West Indies
Where I am placed by the kind hands of my truest love.

Thursday, September 25, 2008

Bent is kinda screwing with me here



With you in my garden
its more peaceful inside
I don’t need anything else
to make me feel alive

You electrify me
And I want to be in your arms
for always
for always

Our love is swollen
Made of the quietest shade of loud
Holds me like an anchor
Floats just like a cloud

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

More love



I think the Hello Kitty sticker is a nice touch.

Steps taken:

1) Bead blast
2) Clean with acetone
3) 2 coats of VHT header paint
4) Light sanding with paper towel
5) 2 more coats of header paint
6) Cured in the oven (three step process)
7) 4 coats of Duplicolor High Temp Clear
8) Light sanding with paper towel.

It looks a lot better the picture suggests.

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

The ending of quandary

I'm in a bad way, dearest Dido
Made asunder by the terrible forces of duty and love in conflict
A duty as strong as love
A duty stronger then love
The rage of war stronger everyday
The cries of the the spirit strong
I will not leave my master!
I can not leave my master, in spite of now being where dreamt
In that strong embrace of the Med and Atlas Mountains
The bosom of the Maghreb
A love swollen with the herbs of Anatolia
Lips like the jewels of Carthage
If you follow me Elissa, follow my objective,
that my duty is your love and greater then your love for me.
I promise there will be no more wandering!
Your brow set in the same direction as mine,
that we may fight the same war,
and shoulder to shoulder, serve the same sun.

Thursday, September 18, 2008

Dragonfly revisited

Deep water

Well, who would've thought it?
Who would've considered?

And now in the face of potential fade
I can't help but wonder if the feeling grays elsewhere.
I have nothing but Fridays to judge
and how much can they say?
Yet flanking me, perched on wood,
and consumed of consuming sweet rice,
I can't help but jump inside.

I have so much to give up
and so long to go.

And what of those other times?
I've locked those away and considered
forgetting where I put them.
But the rocks were to real,
the feet too big,
the sand between our toes just the same,
and the little things too little.
I am coopted.
The deep water just a little farther out there,
yes, that way.
And we never knew it.
That wonderful blue compiled of the little things,
extremely precious and watery in the sun,
I have so long to go.

And what should I have done?
Officer please believe me,
don't you work this beach?
Aren't you here to protect me?
It came from out there
and stole our well being!
Tilted our even keel.
Under the cover of little things,
empty malt bottles,
and stupid conversations
it move in
it invaded.
Yes, from out there
from the deep water.

Or did we go to it?
I have so far to go.

But now there are only Fridays,
and no more afternoons at that,
with that precious brown fluid
finding purchase on places never intended.
But never to worry, it washes out,
and memories along with it.
But could we have known?
If so, I would've accepted every drop with glee,
and held it as most precious.
Even the dangerous saliva,
conducive to rashes and the red ring,
I would've cherished as the life blood itself,
and taken inside of me.

But now there are only Fridays,
and they've just prolonged the trip inland.
Elongated the process of going places I don't want to go.
And leaving places I never intended visiting.
But the weight is upon me even now,
taking away my breath,
even away from the water,
and flying eggs,
and the feel of big feet in my hands.
I sob at the loss,
or is it the realization?
That we sounded into the deep waters
and rolled in the sands of concern
and never knew we were there.

08/15/2001

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Ahh.... New love!




Yeah, that should do it!

Friday, September 12, 2008

Redress

Allready I am heading west towards Gibraltar.
Westward away from those strong shoulders and soft skin of the Black sea.
That tounge from antiquity.
Self amotion starting even before self acknowledgement
The saliva still fresh on my lips.

"I have heared my masters call" says my heart.
Lightly intermingled through the winds of time.
Never far away.

That last look into jet black eyes.
That feeling of emptiness.

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

So I'm not crazy after all

This about says it all!



And BTW, if you're not a geek or PHP guy, feel free to ignore this post. As a matter of fact, you may be happier if you do.

Monday, September 08, 2008

Chapter 1

Most beautiful!
Full with the scent of an Ottoman breeze.
My dream of Anatolia.
My Dunya.
When you smile, the stars twirl and twinkle the brighter.
When you hug me, the trees stand up and take notice.
When you kiss me, the dolphins cheer and cavort in their watery applause.
Your kiss more powerful then happiness itself!
The wind returns to whisk away my evening clouds.
The moon rising and waxing over my content nightime ocean.
And Pontos, approving of your embrace, inviting us into the cool waters of concern.

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Decision made, money sent

Well, I've changed gears and am dropping the idea of using the T04 V trim wheel in the ported Nissan housing. While it would've been cool fer shizzle, I really would like to make my objective of 300hp. Either that, or have the potential in the turbo I'm running. And based so far on the combo of things that I have, I should be there.

What do I have so far?

* Ported, polished, grooved 530 head with a new cam
* Ported and port matched exhaust 90+ manifold
* Ported and port matched intake manifold
* 3" exhaust including a 3" dp

Now the tricks that I hope should get me over the top will include...

* Garret T3/T4 with a .48 Cosworth housing and a T04e 46 trim .70 AR cold side.
* Grooved head which allows me to run pretty advanced timing without having to resort to race gas.

The head flows more then enough for a 300hp objective without a doubt. That turbo does as well. Let's now see if there is something else in the way, but I really, really doubt that I won't make my objective.

For giggles, here is a picture of the compressor side housing next to a T04b setup.





Now tell me that's not going to move some air!

Now just to decide if I want to polish it or bead blast it and seal with paint.

Saturday, August 16, 2008

Memories

Reading the August '08 issue of Superbike and a passage talking about tucking the front on a 1098 reminded me of some fun I used to have. An '85 Yamaha FJ1100.





I actually had more then one at various times, but this last 85 I had the longest and had some good times on it. It had powder coated white wheels and a smoked screen when I got it. By the time I got rid of it, there was Fox and Progressive suspension bits, a Vance & Hines 4-into-1 Megaphone in black (entirely too loud, but cool as hell when you could see flames shooting out of the baffles at night!), braided lines, and a host of other little things that conspired to really make it awesome bike to ride.

But let's remember that it had it's issues. When those bias plies were cold, they gave up no feedback. Nevermind the fact that the bike was long enough to span two country codes.The bike was real slow about rotating in that stealthy manner, only to suprise the hell out of you when it suddenly found traction and lifted your arse a foot or three out of the seat. Interesting that once the tires were hot, throttle steering 2nd gear was as heavenly as it's going to get on a bike!

But it was a trist of the front end that I'm remembering the most. Charging down 152 towards Watsonville in California, I was in my usual aggressive mode. By this time, a lot of things about the bike had been changed so I really liked changing directions. Perhaps I shouldn't have been carrying so much speed into corners, but that's how I was riding the bike in those days.

But one corner made me rethink that policy on the FJ. On a fast downhill left hander that I chucked the bike into when just as I noticed that I was pushing, the front tucks, pushes straight for about 5 feet, then bangs hard on the center stand (there's a reason those don't get put on Sportbikes anymore!) causing the front wheel to regain traction. And good thing too as by the time I was back under a semblance of control (and my buttocks started to release their grip on the seat), I was perilously close to the edge of a road and a 100+ foot drop off.

Yeah, I went back to riding it like a point and shoot bike after that. And even then, it still had me out of the seat on a couple of more occasions before trading it in for an RF600. But in spite of the trade, I had some damn good times on the FJ. I'll never forget my long days riding up the coast from L.A. to Santa Cruz on that bike. Sunny afternoons on Highway 1 from San Luis Obispo to Monterey and those endlessly twisting roads. The bike sounded incredible echoing off the mountains.

But whatever right? Besides, my save talked about above was luck! Skill is below!

Thursday, August 14, 2008

Leaner

My 244 (Motoko) has been running Hi-Z 42lb hour injectors for a while now. Something that is a problem with LH 2.4 is the fact that while it can accommodate injectors that are a good deal larger then stock, it makes no provision for them during closed loop operation and you therefore end up with a very rich running car.

There is a fix, but it can rather dangerous. That is is skewing the signal (via adding resistance) to the signal from the AMM (or MAF) to the ECU. The danger comes in the fact that the ECU see's this as a far lower bit of air that's reaching the system and therefore runs ignition timing that is more advanced then it would be otherwise. If your car was prone to ping before, it's going to be real bad after.

In my case, the head grooving means it's a non-issue. Woot! The results, other then a much better WOT AFR and less fuel waste, is a far livelier car. It's now very very smooth at idle and low speeds. Acceleration has seen a marked improvement. I really expect to see an increase in mileage with this change. If I don't, I'll be very very surprised.

Let's keep our fingers crossed shall we?

Friday, August 08, 2008

The '71 can hang!

As it turns out, the AW71 is stronger then a lot of us have been led to believe. This part has been known for some time actually. The easiest way to cut the soft clutch killing nature out of the AW71 is to modify the accumulator pistons.

Here is a short and simple on how to do it. And I suggest that you do it with the tranny out and upside down (as in pan facing up)!


  1. Remove pan
  2. Remove VB
  3. Pop the accumulator pistons out of their cylinders. This will most likely require a little compressed air. To find where you need to apply that air is simple. Push down on the piston (not too violently either) and watch for bubbling or a stream of ATF coming out near the base of the cylinder. Use shop rags over the piston to keep parts from flying all over dodge and the old ATF spray.
  4. Once they are all unseated, compare the springs from each of the pistons. Take the spring with the smallest internal diameter and head to Home Depot. They sell round metal stock (rods). Find the largest size that will fit in there easily.
  5. Back at the pad, cut a length of the rod that is just slightly shorter then the overall length of the spring. Put a chamfer on the ends of the rod (if you have the tools), place inside the spring, then place those in the piston and re-seat the piston in it's cylinder.
  6. Repeat until finished.


I will say that if any of the pistons come out real easy, it would be a good idea to replace the o-rings that go around the pistons.

The above completed, you have a transmission that can handle enough power to make your Volvo a hell of a fun beast to pilot on the street. Kenny Howard told me this morning he put 350 wheel through his during dyno testing last night.

The crazy thing about the above testing is the RPM he ran the unit up to. It's been common belief that these units start to self destruct above 5200 RPM, but Kenny ran his up to 7400 RPM! That really managed to blow some common beliefs out of the water.

Ultimately Kenny Howard has gone a long ways towards researching other options for these transmissions. He and I are both on track to build AW71/372 hyrbrids using high performance clutches but the vast majority of work, effort and credit go to Kenny.

For me, I don't plan on needing the ability to rev the motor that high. I'm trying to build a motor with killer mid-range and torque and an HP number north of 300hp at the wheels. The idea is to do this within the 0-6200 RPM rev range that LH 2.4 allows.

On other car related fronts, the grooves continue to impress. I'm know knocking over 10psi on 89 octane gas with no detonation. Now, I'm prolly going to stop right there until I get Knocksense from Boris and make absolutely sure of what I'm already pretty damn sure about. But whatever the case, it's awesome. Cheap gas on a boosted motor equals nice!

Wednesday, August 06, 2008

Lush is such a killer station!



Stina Nordenstam -> On Falling

Groove Theory

Well, it's been over a month since I blew a headgasket. When the head was off, I grooved it. If you don't know what that is, you can look here.

http://somender-singh.com/content/view/7/31/

Now the last tank of gas I used and the one I just put in are both 89 octane mid-grade! That's significant because this is a (relatively) high compression engine with a turbo charger. These are normally the conditions that require super unleaded. However, with the grooves, I've run up to 8psi.

The plan is to continue testing the effectiveness of these grooves on my setup. The next step is to buy Knocksense from my boy Boris. Once I can comfortably and safely monitor knock, I'd like to start working on altering ignition timing and leaning out the on boost air fuel ratio.

Just to give an example of the some of the success people have found running this mod, here is a post from a Guy in Denmark on the TB forums.


I'm running 17.4 psi of boost, on our med. grade petrol.

Got a mutch smooter running engine, better fuel economy, and more resistent to ping.


That thread is here.

If I can get to 17 psi on mid grade, I'll be over the moon!

Monday, August 04, 2008

Emotive things

I posted something elsewhere that met with more approval then I anticipated.


ALL cars are "soulless" gadgets. Period! What makes a car awesome is what it invokes. How emotive is it's interface? How emotive is it's brutality? How emotive are it's lines? How emotive is it's capability? And how do all of those things make you feel?

What's soulful is an experience that a gadget begets.


I will add to the last line that it's also what the gadget allows. And right now, I need something to allow the fullest display of my anger.

Perhaps I just need to put some super back in the tank and turn the boost back up.

On another note, a mate posted this over at T-Bricks.



Yeah, I could go for some of that about now.

Sunday, August 03, 2008

Wild Weasel

I'm being painted. I can see it. I can tell. I can feel it. In all the obvious ways to someone that is aware of all those obvious ways, however subtle to most.

To the Star I will say, "I have the star"! Not much you can do now other then fire or shutdown right? But whatever the case, I'm an old hand at this game. With twice as much flight time as you have life time, it's not really a fair match anyway is it?

I suspect the smirk on my face says it all. The obvious pleasure of gravity and target acquisition. The smile of an old sly fox when he's realized the battle is won. That a desired and cherished objective is nigh on completion.

But whatever. I'm wings level and on the deck. RTB with the can lit. Moments back, I looked you right in the eye, that gorgeous dish lively and ever tracking. Both of us with a lock on the other. Today wasn't the day, but we know it's soon. It will no doubt be when that interloping superiour of your's is on leave. And on that day, it's all about HARM. But for now, I'm still that target you know you wish to down and embrace, in spite of rank, position, or country. The roar of my "Thud" echoing in the chambers of your heart.

Yeah, that day is soon.

Saturday, August 02, 2008

Top Gear

I've been watching Top Gear for aeons and love the show, just like 70% of the world it tuns out. But man I'm in deep withdrawals right now that the season is over. I guess it's time to start looking at the old stuff again.

:-(

Sunday, July 27, 2008

TCAS? Near miss?

I was on a flight from Chicago to Tampa recently (this is the return from the Colorado trip) and saw some ish that really got my attention. While heading up hill in a Ted A319 (around 25K), I looked out the window to see an American Airlines MD-80 passing over our heads by no more the 500 feet! It may have been more. It may have been less. Whatever the case, it was a suprise to say the least.

Oh well. I'm still here so what am I crying about?

Thursday, July 24, 2008

Boots!!!!!!!

I want these!




Now here's to hoping I can buy a pair this weekend. Of course, all is not lost. I do have a set of these making there way to me right now via UPS.



Colorado turned out to be pretty cool. :-)

Thursday, July 17, 2008

Colorado bound! I'm outta here to go put my feet high, eat food, and be in good company. Oh, let's not forget flirting with cute airline girls, err......, ladies.

I hope there's a pool somewhere too come to think of it.

Wednesday, July 09, 2008

Woes of a Gunfighter

I wonder just how much Cable really loved Domino.

Selflessness has a unique pain at times. A characteristic all it's own depending on the circumstance. Understanding, as a companion is no less sharp and has no respect in it's cutting. What needs to be held should be held. What needs to be cared for shall be cared for. What needs to be thought of will be thought of. And what must be let go must be let go of.

But what if I'm tired of letting go? What if I'm tired of seeing my freinds deal with lifes bogeys on their own? What if for their sake, I want to enter into the furball and splash targets? I am not new to struggle. I am not new to conflict. What if I want to put nose on target and hear the growling? I am a Gunfighter! There are none better.

But what should be a flight of two is flight of one with precious cargo. I don't want to fight alone. I don't want to fly alone. Because back at the nest, I don't want to be without those that I've come to love. Because back at the nest, I want to hold you and talk to you. Because back at the nest I want to put your head on my shoulder and squeeze. I want to pull you in close and tell you that you and your precious cargo are both precious too me and I want to do so every day as long as my engines continue to roar.

In the company of eagles, bonds should not so lightly be broken.

Or made?

Sunday, July 06, 2008

How I love old cars sometimes.



Yeah, that was a bummer.

Of course, there are good sides too. Since I ended up with a week rental on a car, I've also fixed the leaking oil pan and will install my IPD adjustable panhard and torque rods. I also got a new cold side wheel and housing for my girl too.



That's a V or S trim wheel inside of a Nissan quick spool housing that's been ported big time. The inducer is a good bit larger then the original 60 wheel that came with those setups or Super 60's.

This is a just a temp setup. I'm still planning on the 50 trim setup, but at least this way I can get things together and worked out in general.

Monday, June 30, 2008

An affinity

My cousin popped into town rather unexpectedly last week. By this I mean I had no idea she was going to be here until she was here! This is par for the course for this cousin but do we get a choice in our relatives?

Tune out the negative connotation of that last sentence please.

It should also be said that "in town" means within reasonable driving distance. In this case, Tampa to Orlando. So I tell my boss that a relative popped in and I want the day off.

Now cue Friday, the day of, and I'm eventually off. Things start going bad right out of the gate. Not far out from the pad, the AC packs up. That's no small deal here in Florida either. Especially considering we are talking about the height of summer. Good thing I had an extra shirt in the car becuase it was hot! It doesn't help that I sat in traffic going through Tampa in what was absolutely sweltering conditions. May as well turn up the music and be glad you're alive.

I stopped somewhere about 3/4's of the way there to get some water and call my cousin. I left her a message and decided to have some lunch where I was there (needed to kill some time), which was no more then a greasy spoon truck stop with gnarly food, hairy big guys that spend all day long behind the wheel, and an adorable waitress that seemed way out of place with this sea of junkfood muching human bears.

I'm eventually off and into the Kissime area. I've spotted the Nicklelodeon Hotel and head for the lobby. No answer on the phone or via text so after sitting there for 30 minutes, I head out looking for a bookstore to blow some more time. May as well.

Of course, I just can't get away from mis-fortune. 1 mile down the road and the temp on my car has shot for the moon. Eventually getting into a parking spot and popping the hood provides a curious picture. The coolant overflow bottle is blown up like a ballon?!?! What the heck is that all about right? By this time, there are some really dark thoughts knocking around my head. I check the oil and at least it still looks like oil. I slowly release pressure from the cooling system then pour in some cold water, zip the system up, and head back out on my trek. Now everything is fine which just makes it all the more strange.

After questing around Kissime based on bunk directions I get a call from the point of this trip and head back The Nick. Sitting in the lobby, I start wondering just how different she's going to look from the last time I saw here. Her being Vanessa. I was terrorfied I wouldn't recognize her. But no, she is just as gorgeous. Even behind the gigantic black framed glasses, it was that face.

My cousing Vanessa is THE BOMB!!! I don't know why but I just dig her like no other. We just hang out and it's all good and all that easy.

And on top of all that, her kids are absolutely beautiful. I was so smitten by Alex and was very close to taking her back home with me. A perfect blend of 'Nessa and Vernon (her husband who is cool and mellow as h311!) with a rich and dark complexion unlike 'Nessa and I with our milk chocolate hues. The youngest girl, CC, has the amazingly subtle and exquisite features.

And boy could those kids raise hell! When they started throwing rocks at one of the windows at Friday's, I about died. LOL.

But what I was really looking forward too was when everyone else knocked off for the night and I could have 'Nessa to myself. I hadn't got to spend any alone face time with her in 15 years. Remembering now how I felt, I can't believe I let it go that long.

And that's something that has to change a bit. My aunt and uncles are less then 8 hours drive away and cool as ice in addition to being real characters. Everytime I get to see them I'm reminded of just how bitchin of a family I come from! All the coolest things a group of people could have. Beauty, intensity, hilarity, kindness, and unconditional love.

Leaving that evening was hard. I got three hugs out of the deal tho so I'm not complaining. But I also had the best drive home ever. It was 2 in the morning and had cooled off. The stereo worked and the turbo was as faithful as ever. The temps stayed reasonable so you could say there was nothing to spoil the after glow of the visit.

It's funny how good of a decision it was to just ignore the problems and conditions knowing that it would end up being more then worth it. I was so worth the trouble and will still be worth the trouble of the work I'm about to get into to fix the blown headgasket that was the cause of so many problems on the trip.

Thanx 'Nessa

Wednesday, June 25, 2008

I've never been one for binds. Or at least less and less everyday. But a bind nonetheless is here.

Once again I am multiply engaged! A furball with two immediate threats and a deep yearning for a distant and greying objective. But let's let the truth be known shall we. I am The Brown Bear and I'm playing with these guys. But for each target, the nature of the play is different and in time, they'll both be splashed in their own unique way. But until that time, let's just manuever. Let's bring one in close and put distance on the other. Let's confound the intent of one and trap the manuevering of the other with an embrace of concern.

There will be no kills from this engagement.

But alas, my dearest objective is WINCHESTER, BINGO, and RTB to a place I know not. I miss her, my fellow Saint and embracemate, our feet on deck on the Oriskany.

Friday, June 13, 2008

Did yet more screwing around with the T04E 50 trim map and came up with the below.





There are now two new points and a plot as well.


  • The yellow point represents a boost ceiling of 24psi and 86% VE.
  • The blue point is 26psi and 86% VE.
  • The light blue area represents an efficiency range of 76%.
  • The green area is 78%!


The plot is a very wild and generous guess of where I would be in terms of efficiency at various points in the rev range starting at 2500 and going to 6200 RPM for a redblock. That plot suggests that the unit spools relatively quickly but that's something I really have no idea of until the unit is on the car and spinning. There are others running very similar setups but I yet have no data from someone running the same Cosworth hotside / T04E combo that we are talking about here.

Another thing about that plot line is it's suggestion or hint that if I spool faster then the guesses I've made, I could well be into surge land. Let's hope tat's not the case.

I just can believe how good of a setup these T04E 50 trim units are. Look at the size or combined areas of the 78% and 76% regions. That's absolutely huge!

Thursday, June 12, 2008

Wow! T04E 50 trims rock!

After banging my head for a while and doing more math then I've done in some time, I'm forced to see the wisdom of what various others have been telling me about the 50 trim compressors. I've been hoping that I'll be able to realize my goal of 300 HP at the wheels with 20psi at the lest. Based on VE and PR calculations and laying this information over the top of a T04E 50 trim compressor map, I get some awesome results. Below is the point if I decide that I want to shift at 5500 rpm and 20 psi.





That's fantastic!

Now I really suspect my goal will be realized based on what others are doing out there with the same heads without porting and using the stock valve sizes. One freind of mine hit 320 at the wheels at 26psi with no mods to the head (as mentioned) other then an IPD turbo cam.

I state the above as comparison to what it is I'm running. The same 530 head, but ported, polished, grooved, and running 38mm exhaust (as opposed to 35mm) valves. The other difference is a V cam. That said, I should have superior flow potential through the head then he does, not to mention I'm using a far more efficient cold side then he (T04E 60 trim). This greater flow capability is the first reason I am hoping I won't need more then 20psi. But if that's the case, it's no big deal to turn it up a tad right?

OTOH, I could make an absolute boost ceiling of 20psi and just live with the results whatever they are. In this way, I can stay with OE pistons and ensure a bit less stress on the bottom end.

Yeah, I may just have to give that idea some serious consideration. :-)

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

G.O.W.! Started and finished in two days.

There is a reason I don't buy video games anymore.

Friday night, after writing code all day and being at work for a bit more then 8 hours, I decide to head downstairs into the break room and play the game I'd been excited about playing for some time.

Gears Of Wars.



We've actually had this game in the building as long as I've worked here but for some reason when I first played it, I just couldn't gel with the 3rd person POV, not to mention those blasted controllers. I'm a PC guy! Controls for games should be with a mouse and keyboard in my opinion.

Anyway, I guess I decided to stick it out Friday night. I started sometime around 10:15 and just got busy. Time passed and Locust died. Suddenly, there is this beeping sound that I thought was the building alarm going off. An alarm that shouldn't have been set in the first place right? Well after running around trying to get down to the bottom of this, I realize it's the alarm clock ON MY PHONE! iT WAS 5:30 AM!!!!

There is a reason I don't buy video games anymore.

Seeing it was 5:30, I decided to go home. Of course, when Monday came around, I headed back to the break room to play some more. The level/checkpoint/act that I picked back up on was the very last of the game. As it turns out, I pretty much knocked over the entire game in a single evening. Wow!

Now that's kinda nice as I now won't find myself dreaming about re-immersing back into the G.O.W. world all day long while I should be hackin' out code. It's done and the urge to spend serious hours at the controls are gone. of course, that's not to imply that heading back down and doing a little blasting still isnt' fun. It is! Especially when I can go back to my favorite fights and engage.

Ultimately, the G.O.W. world is amazingly beautiful. Even the wreckage of the civilization they are fighting to preserve is staggering in it's beauty.

Or is it just the graphics?

Whatever the case, it's amazing! The level of detail is stunning. The effect of distance is emotive. Walking through and fighting in courtyards and gardens with absolutely incredible lighting effects is just downright bitchin'! Even running with your mates and listening to their ridiculous banter is too damn cool (tho Baird will throw down with the best of 'em, he needs to stop whining!).

The level of dread wasn't as high as I expected at times, tho it was there. It wasn't like the original Doom or Half Life, much less Doom III (which scared the hell out of EVERYBODY), but you certainly felt your tension level rise when the Boomers showed up or wrenches(?) rushed you in the middle of a reload.

So what is/are the coolest thing(s) about Gears? How you use cover and the blind fire. It's awesome to take cover behind something and just stick your weapon out and pull the trigger. Great for keeping Locust noggins down while your boys advance. You can even chuck grenades over too! And once you get the hang of using the A button to dive, run, and take and slide into cover, you are good as gold.

Best weapon? Sniper rifle by far! Not as useful for general throwing down, but there are times when it's scope and one hit one kill glorly is going to make the going a lot easier.

So yeah, I'm glad I knocked it out. It was like a good movie that I was part of living.

Drawbacks? Yeah, there is a big one. Why did they have to make Marcus so terminally macho. Where was the anger about being in prison for nothing for 14 years? Where was the anger about seeing everything destroyed by the Locust? You did see glimpses of emotion at times (like when Raam killed the Lt), but it's not enough. Showing Marcus to be more complex then a collection of cheesy Duke Nukem one liners would have paid big for those that aren't so apt to become immersed in a story line.

Hair splitting aside, G.O.W. II is now highly anticipated.

Wednesday, June 04, 2008

Oh Grace, please let me go!

I'm STILL at work! At least I'm about to leave. The problem right now is that it's too hard to get up. I've knocked over a ton of code today and this project is lookin' mad toite yo! LOL!

Another problem is that same old problem that is very good at grabbing me from time to time. Music! "So who is it this time", you're asking?



That's Grace Valhalla. It's essentially Ambient Electronica. And it's rockin'! Music in the vien of Juno Reactor and Orbital. She's using some awesome sounds too. Some of that stuff reminds me of my old Yamaha TG-33 tone generator. A good deal of it's rather warm and analog sounding. Good stuff.

Of course, I've just restarted 'Empty' on the "Peak" album. Man, this isn't helping my exit from the building one bit.

Anyway, she deserves notice if you're into that kind of thing. Check her out at one (or both) of the below links.

Myspace
Jamendo

And make a point of checking out Jamendo. Too many good artists there to ignore.

Tuesday, June 03, 2008

Vicki Butler-Henderson

I'm so in love with this girl it's ridiculous. I'd love to have a girl that can drive like this. Besides, it would be nice to have some that giggles with me when the back hangs out and the engine starts singing.



She's certainly prettier then Jezza eh?

Saturday, May 31, 2008

Wow!



Sunday Boy by Bent

Realizations (or however you spell it)

Tho I'm soft as charmin, I've come to realize I'm hard as quartz. Nothing should disrupt dedication to line.

Am I dedicated?

I say yes and I mean it! At the risk of outer darkness, I want to be there.

The sad part of this resolute quality is it's far less then soft and crushing to the unwary.

Tuesday, May 27, 2008

I need to find and shoot the source of that little voice

I'm not sure where or how I developed this little nag of a voice that complains and rationalizes away the actual act of getting things done. It's like a constant fight that I'm in. Even as I start working on things, that voice is with me the entire time saying "That's enough for today", or "You're almost out of sunlight", or "Sheesh, that's going to be some hard work".

There are times when it's been a real pain in the butt. I'll hem-haw and walk around in circles when I should be working out. That "little punk" (I sware I'm going to shoot that fool when I catch him!) suggesting I play with the cat, play my guitar, play Q3 freeze tag, play KoboDL. Everything BUT what it is I was trying to do.

This weekend was more of the same. I had a lot of things I wanted to get done. Tho I accomplished a good deal, I started off late because I was listenting to bonehead.

You know, about the only time when I'm alone and not plauged by this racket is when I have the mp3 player on my head or when some music is going in general. Then I just get into it and hours pass.

Anyway, it's certainly nice when you fight through and just get it done. I finally got the head unit, sub, and guage set out of Sylvanna and into Motoko as well as figuring out what some racket was under hard accelleration. I even started testing a Type H BOV I got at a yard sale. Oh, I also edged the front yard when I found my spare roll of line.

Last night after taking a shower, I took the car out, parked at the beach, rolled down the windows, and turned up the tunes. I leaned the chair back and took the remote in hand so I didn't have to get up.

Yeah,that's the shiza right there!

I just wish Lauren was around.

Anyway, I'm going to banish that little voice once and for all real soon here. There is too much work to be done. I'm a soldier with a loooonnnnnnggggggg target list to service so whiny little voices have no future here.

Saturday, May 24, 2008

T.R.A.F.F.I.C 2008 Orlando

Just got back from the T.R.A.F.F.I.C. East conference in Orlando and have to say that I really had a blast this time compared to others. I was also smart enough to attent the after parties this time and make some very very good and influential contacts.

For those that don't know, T.R.A.F.F.I.C conferences concern the Domain monetization industry wich on one hand deals with parking domains and on the other looks at domain as real estate. Very interesting thing if you hadn't considered it. As a matter of fact, it was a world completely alien to me until the Las Vegas event a number of months back. Now being "in" it, there is a good deal of opportunity regardless of the nature of the business being very much "in flux".

One very interesting personal realization was/is that SEO really isn't BS.I developed a negative attituded towards it about 4 years back as many (most) of the supposed SEO specialists I bumped into tended to be blow hards. After that, I got tired of listening to their crap and shut down to the entire community. Wel......, I was wrong to do that. Two very, very good companies that I've come across as of late are SEOP (seop.com) and webcastone.com. Rick Waters, the CEO for Webcast One is a great guy that is both exceptionally nice and exceptionally knowledgable.

Now I will say that I think there is an area that nobody has yet really learned how to take advantage of: Social Networking. On the last day of the conference, I suspsect I stumped the CEO's of SEOP and Webcast One when I asked how Social Networking will continue to play a role and/or grow in the activities of major SEO operators and efforts. While they acknowledged that it was a good question, it also stumped 'em. You could see the question marks painted on their faces and the eys pointing upwards and darting about.

After chatting with some of these guys later, I do believe they are sufferring from the industry view of how to make money. Too much focus on existing models like PPC and derivatives. It's my opinion that those do/will provide greater short term gain and will, depending on the site they are used on, be sustaining. However, they WILL NOT EVER HAVE THE POTENTIAL OF A WELL CRAFTED SOCIAL NETWORK OR COMMUNITY! Now perhaps that's a bold thing to say, but it's not without a foundation of observation from the likes of Joel Spolsky, Clay Shirky, and Neal Stephenson.

Now depending on how one aggregates these thoughts mentally, this could be a bit of leap, but my experience tells and suspicions tell me otherwise.

Another killer thing about this community building model is that it's future proof against the disapperance of a PPC revenue stream.

It's all simple really. Advertisers will go where the people are. Real successfull online communities tend to have a lot of people no? And if you think advertisers aren't willing to spend some dosh where the hordes of people regularly (like highways) then you aren't paying attention or the inside of your box is a little too comfortable.

Want an example of an ad driven site that's doing well? Toms Hardware.

One last observation along these lines. I suspect that the term "Social Network" brings to mind visions of bonehead predators, vacuous coeds with tawdry myspace pages, and Pink Razor carrying bimbettes. And if it's not something like that, then Twitter or Facebook or whatever. The reality of those types of networks is they are networks for the sake of being networks as opposed to being centered a particular topic or area(s) of common interested.

At least Ning differs in this way.

Anyway, it was a good show and I certainly hope to get up to New York or Australia for one of the next shows.

Thursday, May 22, 2008

Too soon!

There is some energy inside. Something growing. A grillage failure that I knew would come, but expected to happen months later. This is far too soon. And the
wreckage seems it's going to be just as strong as if the construction had lasted the year I expected.

This is far too soon.

I was hoping for one of those summers. I was interested in one of those time frames where I climbed out of a valley I didn't know I was in and basked in a sun that
I really wasn't aware of. One of those summers where it's good to be wet in the sun and feel the grit of sand in your food. Where the fan is loud and chatting is
it's most comfortable. When the movies don't matter because it's not the point of the movie. Big hugs under full moons and gazing into a brilliant gaze.

I held her in my arms and cradled her head to my chest enrapt with the look of comfort and ease in her face. She would close her eyes and purr as my squeeze grew stronger
and pulled her closer into me, hanging her head back exposing her neck. That thin smirk of pleasure breaking across her face.

THIS IS FAR TOO SOON!

Every bit of my chemistry is screaming! Every sinew is crying out! Every bit of calmness is broken. There is a deep and desperate din, now just little more then a
whisper, getting louder from someplace deep and miles inside. An area of expression not heard in ages. A power not felt for an eternity. It's siesmic energy poised and
ready to lash out screaming what I don't want to hear. Acknowleding what I would rather not know. Forcing into me what I would rather not admit.

THIS IS FAR TOO SOON!

But I have Motoko. I miss what what little there was, but I have Motoko. And Motoko's call is sweet and soulfull. Her demands are clear. The failure to heed
terminal. But damn, does her engine bellow a sweet warning. That red heart spinning with vim and aggression, her note wavering as she rotates and laughs at the idea of
traction. Where I can't hold, I can accellerate. Where I can't be held, I can relax and drift. Where I can't be kissed, I can brake deep into the objective with power
and smoothness. And where I can yell and scream out a deep desperate cry I would rather not existed, Motoko can go positive ambient and crush the gainsayers while
ripping out her mellow roar.

Tuesday, May 20, 2008



Yeah, this is where I'm at right now.

On the car front, I pay for some of the bottom end and other custom work today. Woot! My machinist is an awesome guy with tons of experience. He has a gorgeous Stingray Vette that is in immaculate shape.

I drool!

So the block has been cleaned, some timing holes drilled in a cam gear, and my strut tower brace has been reworked a little. Now to buy pistons and bearings.

I also payed for my Cossie (Cosworth) .48 T3 hotside today. Woot!



I'm getting pretty close know to just being able to send it, an extra CHRA and some doe to G-Pop shop and have them build the custom unit I'm after. A T3/T4 with the Cossie hotside and a T04E 50 trim cold side. I just think I better pay for those pistons first.

Oh well

Monday, May 19, 2008

Guitar lovage

I think I'm starting a new improvement spurt in my guitar playing.

Just so you know, I've been playing since I was nine. Let's see...., I'm 41 now so that's 32 years right?

Now I'm not going to claim to be some guitar god but I can hold my own. However, I've really become a specialized instrument. I play what I like to play and play that rather well. A lot of other stuff that I don't care much for will be a challenge to some degree. Sure, I'll pick it up much faster then a noob, but I won't sound as tho i've been at 32 years either.

But whatever. Last night and this morning was great for playing. A passage that I had found a number of months back got some new stuff added to it. As a matter of fact, it's now just about a complete song. I can hear the singing and the guitar is in place.

The key, and this harkens back to the first sentence in this rant, is that it's difficult stuff. I've gotten into this thing or sound that requires slides to affect lightning fast position changes. It's funny how it started with another passage I wrote a couple of months back then worked it's way into the one in question. However, in finishing the song, it's now blossomed to a level of difficulty that almost has me feeling like a beginner.

But man does it sound awesome also!

It's a good thing I learned sometime back how to practice. In short, only play it as fast as you can play it perfectly.

Prolly the funniest thing I've learned in my playing in the last two years is how much the consideration of showmanship and performance increases as the difficulty of passages increase. I never gave it much thought before, but those lazy sloppy days have to go away to pull off the stuff I'm doing now.

BTW, this is my main guitar these days. Pretty well knackered, but I love it.

Friday, May 16, 2008

Just plain bad | Just plain good. Skinship > Wamu!

I went a long ways down in the last 12 hours and came a long ways back up. Now that may not make a lot of sense, and how could it without some background right?

A couple of weeks back a break down (tranny) put me in a real tight bind (well, it was actually my insistence on not asking for help (in some way) that doomed me to the present troubles). It was so bad as a matter of fact that when my primary account went negative the bank hit me for overdraft fee's totalling over 500 bucks! Suddenly not having the money to take care of some important bills, things looked pretty damn dark.

Now in the story of a lot of peoples lives this is the point where medication makes an appearance. Personally, I chose a different path long ago. However, there are still things that make a huge difference when you need just a couple of moments of bliss.

For me, that "couple of moments of bliss" is named Lauren. 5'8", beautiful and strong shoulders and arms, beautiful brown eyes, an amazing mane of brown hair, and absolutely crazy and rambunctious. She's is absolutely perfect!

Before many of you start to get too far into the gutter, just go ahead and stop right now. It's not that kind of thing. While we I adore each other to death, WE ARE FRIENDS!!! While I could very easily see myself being involved with her, it's most likely not in the cards for numerous reason for both parties.

That said, she, just like me, is very affectionate and intimate. She, just like me, rates intimacy well above sex. She just like me loves holding and being held. On top of that, she loves being at the beach.

I have a plan for her!

So no, we are not having sex. So no, we are not even kissing.

That said, there is an amazing affinity blossoming between the two of us. An amazing skinship. An amazing bond that I know is going to rip my guts out in a year or so when I move. The kind of crushing seperation that pushes parents that lose their children into depression and mates that lose their significants in the mad weight loss. The ever present empty feeling that hangs around for what seems like ages after you've learned how to breathe again.

Lauren put me in a good place last night. Instead of going to sleep full of dred and stress, I went to sleep with a smile on my face. I went to sleep smelling her on my shirt and pulling her hair out of my goatee. I went to sleep smiling thinking about her way out jokes and stories. I went to sleep thinking about how she was gorgeous in that long brown summer dress. I went to sleep thinking of those broad, strong, soft shoulders and the feel of her skin. And finally, I went to sleep totally happy that she is totally happy when she is with me.

Sooo Wamu 0: Lauren 1.

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

And another! (Killer Emiliana Torrini song that is)

Oh my, this is a killer song. I got this feeling I'll be playing some guitar tonight.



Of course, the live versionrecording just doesn't do it justice.

Emiliana Torrini

I've long been seeing / hearing killer song after killer song pop up on as I listen to Lush / SomaFM from Emiliana Torrini.

First off, that's an awesome name!

Second: She's gorgeous!




But that really doesn't matter. What's cool is the music and her voice. As can be told from earlier posts, I love female singers and good chick music, if you want to call it that.

At this point in time, the song I want to play over and over again is Baby Blue. An awesome sound that harmonically manages to remind of the clever stuff from the Beatles and many musicians copied in the '70's. The guitar work during the chorus has a Cheap Trick sound, if you can believe that.

But listen to her voice. Kind of sweet and sharp or biting at the same time. Unmistakably female, there's also the same touch of a seemingly drunken Mazzy Star feel with regards to how some notes are handled.



I think music is one of the greatest gifts ever! To not enjoy something like this is a shame.

*** Ahh! OK! I remember now the other person she reminds me of. Yet another woman with an amazingly sweet voice. EDIE BRICKELL!!!

Man, I'm getting old. ROFL!!!!

Dragonfly down

It seems a friend of mine has gone away. At least I got a chance to send her a note. At least I got a chance to tell her how much I've missed her. To tell her how important she is to me and just how much affect she's had on my life.

Losing her the first time is what I imagine a parent feels when losing a child. An eternity of emptiness that ebbs away so slowly as to be barely noticeable. You just get used to it. You just become accustomed to feeling as tho you are wasting away, starving, and unable to breathe. Crushed!

How do you choke off love? How do you kill longing?

It's not easily or often that someone bores into me in this manner. That someone turns into a weed that grows in me stealthily. By the time I was aware, I was completely coopted. The daily injection of her was so regular, how could I have know that I was addicted? How could I have known that there was a dependence on her dry wit? How could I have known?

This is the price I pay for being open I guess. But if the alternative is cold brutishness, I'll take my chances.

Thursday, April 17, 2008

Console_GetOpt

For you PHP nerds out there, I'm sick and tired of GetOpt. It's nice and useful for dealing with gathering command line arguments, but HOW you get to those arguments is the problem.

As an example, if I pass an argument to a script such as ....

"some_script -p Jack -u Dempsy"

... then the data structure I get back is something like...


Array
(
[0] => Array
(
[0] => Array
(
[0] => p
[1] => Jack
)

[1] => Array
(
[0] => u
[1] => Dempsy
)

)

[1] => Array
(
)

)


Now is it just me or is that kind of cumbersome? Wouldn't it be nice to get back something like...


Array
(
[p] => Jack
[u] => Dempsy
)



That said, I wrote this.


function &condense_arguments($args)
{
$new_args_list=array();
foreach($args[0] as $arg)
{ $new_args_list[$arg[0]]=$arg[1]; }
return $new_args_list;
}


This will provide the type of data structure we're talking about.

I sent this as a note to "somebody" at the PEAR site. It would be great if I could actualy send it straight to a maintainer but the site doesn't seem to support this.

Now let's see what happens shall we?

Monday, April 14, 2008

Sylvanna is dead! Long live Sylvanna!

Yeah, that's the case. I've decided to stop any further work on my project car, Sylvanna (a turbocharged '89 Volvo 244). Other things in life are forcing my hand and forcing my schedule.

This is really a bummer in my mind. My ex wife and I picked up the car when we got back into the country and needed something to get us by while we worked towards other things. After getting my wife a 765 Turbo, I turbocharged Sylvanna, did a lot of work towards the guage set, suspension, transmission, audio, wheels, and have recently had a worked head finished and delivered a block for a rebuild.

Driving the car was the bomb. Mad torque and killer handling. It accellerated off corners like a bomb blast! When it got sideways, it always provided tons of feedback and the Fuzion ZRI's give great feedback while not being harsh during the transitions between sliding and traction.

Prolly the only area where it was kind of a bummer was the brakes. 240's have fantastic OEM brakes with gigantic 4 piston calipers. Remove the glaze from the rotors and the bite and overall power is impressive by modern standards. The problem I was having however seemed to be the rotors, fixing run out, and getting them and the Hawk HP+S pads to bed properly.

I really enjoyed that car a great deal and will really miss seeing it go away. :-(

On the bright side, almost all of the things that have been done can be translated to my other 244, Motoko. That said, I've already started the process of moving stuff to the other car. So far, I've got the drivers seat, front speakers, spacers and wheels, and front sway bar and end links (with poly bushings). So from now until as long as it takes, I'll be subracting from Sylvanna to add to Motoko.

There are some other advantages as well. Since I got a suspension rebuild kit (essentially all new bushings for both ends), I can just take some of the bits off Sylvanna, rebuild, and put on Motoko. This will work great with the control arms and trailing arms that I'm still going to have braced and boxed.

You know, another way of looking at all of this is that Sylvanna is being transplanted into Motoko. A lot of Sylvanna will live on in Motoko. Considering the rebuilt engine and AW71 will be there, a lot of what was the very heart of Sylvanna is making the trip.

Now just to find a roommate! $1300 bucks by yourself sucks!

I'll get pics of Motoko up in upcoming posts.

Tuesday, April 01, 2008

Late Happy B-Day Cesar Chavez

It was his birthday yesterday.

Monday, March 31, 2008

Absolutely Perfect!

As I've said before, I'm slow on the uptake with new music. I'm still not sure why.

There are a couple of tunes I've heared on the SomaFM (somafm.com) Secret Agent channel that caught my attention. Way smooth and mellow Jazz in a South American/West Indies (Caribbean) style with bits of electronica around the edges.

Then I heard parts of one of the songs again while watching Top Gear! In particular, during the trip to Spain and the racecourse / resort while showing The Stig and his helmeted girlfriend in the pool.

As it turns out, it was Bebel Gilberto.



I've had an attraction this sound for some time and now is just about the first time I've put a name or face to it. Awesome that it's such a gorgeous woman.



And more pics.




I'm including some of these songs on a birthday CD compilation for a friend. I hope she appreciates it.

Thursday, March 20, 2008

Perhaps I'm getting too much lovin' these days.

I sware I love my cars. Both Volvo. Both Turbocharged. Both making far more power then stock.Both are a blast to drive being that they are rear wheel drive. Making a left this morning, I get the back out. While hanging out there, it decides to slide what was prolly another ten degrees to the right and was really sideways at that point, but still kickin' tail too. I let it hang out a little more and it swings gently back to the left for a bit before straigthening out.

I've been addicted this crap for far too long now mate!

Not really believing that a 240, much less a Volvo can bust a grape? How this pic?



That's not my car BTW. I can only hope my project car comes out that nice when it's done.

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

Sia! Moon!

I've been a slow lazy dolt about keeping up with Sia, but today while listening to an internet radio station that I actually stumbled into, I heared "Moon". What a killer song!

I know of Sia from Zero 7. I was knocked over by songs like Somersault (which had one of the sweetest vids I'd ever seen), Speed Dial, and Destiny. Yet for some reason I've been slow on the uptake of her solo stuff.

That's about to change.

About that station, it's called Lush. It's a somafm.com
channel that for some strange reason, is not listed on their home page. I was litteraly screwing around with XMMS and the ip address of the feed for the Digitalis channel with I found this and struck paydirt! If you are a Linux user using XMMS, chose the "add url" utility and enter "http://fx.somafm.com:8800". Winamp has the ability to do so as well, but not using Windows for years now I don't remember how.

Anyway, they just started playing "Somersault" by Zero 7. This station is the bomb rip!

Here is the Somersault vid I mentioned earlier. Thanx Youtube!



And what's a post about a favorite without pics?



Special people

Chatting with a freind reminded me of a couple of people that are absolutely amazing and incredible to me. Fridah Kahlo (from a time well before that dumb Hollywood movie!) and Suzanna Samuelson.

I origonally spun off into this bit of rememberance when a freind said something that made me think of one of Fridah's paintings. Fridah Kahlo is one of my two fav artists (the other being Eyvind Earl), an amazing individual, and a beautiful woman. Concerning the "beautiful" part (on a purely physical level), our tossed up American society most likely won't think so. She has some hardcore eyebrow action jumping off and didn't shave her armpits. Being Mexican, especially in todays racist climate, doesn't help if trying to make an impression on the sea of dolts.

But whatever! I couldn't care less what people think! She was simply incredible. I wish I could've met her.





If you are remotely interested, read the link to the wiki entry above.

Suzanna is a freind from my late teens and through most of my 20's. She too is an artist. She is another amazing person with a person that I was ultimately invested tons of emotional energy in. She had a huge effect on me. Effects that would ultimately teach me some serious lessons. Seeing pictures of her reminds me of just how incredibly awesome she is. I can't begin to explain and would really rather not try.

So I'll just post a couple of pics. :-)




The pictures of Suzanna are from a blog entry at Tow (tow.com). Here. I better give credit where credit is due eh?

kthanxbye! LOL