...as usual...
...and this time, it's onto this:
Psychology of self-esteem
Branden argues that self-esteem is a human psychological need and that to the extent this need remains unmet, pathology (defensiveness, anxiety, depression, difficulty in relationships, etc.) tends to result.[12] He defines self-esteem formally as “the disposition to experience oneself as competent to cope with the basic challenges of life and as worthy of happiness,”[13] and proposes that, while others (parents, teachers, friends) can nurture and support self-esteem in an individual, self-esteem also relies upon various internally generated practices. These consist, in Branden’s framework, of six “pillars” of self-esteem:[14]
Branden distinguishes his approach to self-esteem from that of many others by his inclusion of both confidence and worth in his definition of self-esteem, and by his emphasis on the importance of internally generated practices for the improvement and maintenance of self-esteem. For this reason, he has at times expressed lack of enthusiasm about the teachings of the “self-esteem movement”,[15] which he is sometimes credited with having spawned. (He has been referred to as “the father of the self-esteem movement.”[16])
- Living consciously: the practice of being aware of what one is doing while one is doing it, i.e., the practice of mindfulness.
- Self-acceptance: the practice of owning truths regarding one’s thoughts, emotions, and behaviors; of being kind toward oneself with respect to them; and of being “for” oneself in a basic sense.
- Self-responsibility: the practice of owning one's authorship of one's actions and of owning one’s capacity to be the cause of the effects one desires.
- Self-assertiveness: the practice of treating one's needs and interests with respect and of expressing them in appropriate ways.
- Living purposefully: the practice of formulating goals and of formulating and implementing action plans to achieve them.
- Personal integrity: the practice of maintaining alignment between one’s behaviors and convictions.
Funny how much this sounds like someone I know. Some parts more then other. Some parts exactly alike! But even more important or curious is this question: Do some people tailor their behaviors, explanation of self, and acknowledged pathologies to those known (however well founded) or those written of at length by people with names and titles?
To rephrase, does a person decide that they have some disorder then on a conscious or sub-conscious level take on the attributes of that disorder? Or are they indeed victims of these disorders as opposed to molding themselves to fit?
Now the more important follow on question: Do people fail to overcome these disorders because of the mechanics of the disorder? Or.....?
Concerning that question, I like to think of what someone in the near past said to me and some co-workers. I'll paraphrase it as, "People are always coming up with excuses to just act bad". Now inspite of the fact that I think of this cat as being a fundamental brute (with ultimate and logical ends that are far FAR less then civil), I also believe he's correct. This however implies that the people doing the bad "CAN" stop doing bad regardless of their issues. And with the exception of small number of disorders, I believe this 100%.
But some will continue to wax on about their upbringings, unfortunate events, the general difficulties of their lives, etc..., and never address the core fact that they want to do bad. Whatever their disorder du jour is, it creates an effective smoke screen or cover that allows them room to manuever with near impunity knowing they need only play that "Get out of Jail Free" disorder card to deflect the full weight of responsibility and back lash.
Free BDKR Pro Tip time: If there is always some condition, state, intense feelings, or past events that gets in the way of them just simply saying, "I'm sorry, I fucked up", then they're maneuvering. And believe me, with enough of that, they'll be back to their slop in no time.
All of this reminds me of some lyrics by Bjork:
I go humble
you're so curiously pure
only before you I'm humble
...
I should be arrested
for my emotional stunts
only before you I'm humble
On the surface these lyrics prolly do seem innocuous, but they aren't. They point to someone that is variable, impetuous, and given to filth. In short, this all smells like shit and looks familiar.
