Saturday, May 31, 2008
Realizations (or however you spell it)
Tho I'm soft as charmin, I've come to realize I'm hard as quartz. Nothing should disrupt dedication to line.
Am I dedicated?
I say yes and I mean it! At the risk of outer darkness, I want to be there.
The sad part of this resolute quality is it's far less then soft and crushing to the unwary.
Am I dedicated?
I say yes and I mean it! At the risk of outer darkness, I want to be there.
The sad part of this resolute quality is it's far less then soft and crushing to the unwary.
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
I need to find and shoot the source of that little voice
I'm not sure where or how I developed this little nag of a voice that complains and rationalizes away the actual act of getting things done. It's like a constant fight that I'm in. Even as I start working on things, that voice is with me the entire time saying "That's enough for today", or "You're almost out of sunlight", or "Sheesh, that's going to be some hard work".
There are times when it's been a real pain in the butt. I'll hem-haw and walk around in circles when I should be working out. That "little punk" (I sware I'm going to shoot that fool when I catch him!) suggesting I play with the cat, play my guitar, play Q3 freeze tag, play KoboDL. Everything BUT what it is I was trying to do.
This weekend was more of the same. I had a lot of things I wanted to get done. Tho I accomplished a good deal, I started off late because I was listenting to bonehead.
You know, about the only time when I'm alone and not plauged by this racket is when I have the mp3 player on my head or when some music is going in general. Then I just get into it and hours pass.
Anyway, it's certainly nice when you fight through and just get it done. I finally got the head unit, sub, and guage set out of Sylvanna and into Motoko as well as figuring out what some racket was under hard accelleration. I even started testing a Type H BOV I got at a yard sale. Oh, I also edged the front yard when I found my spare roll of line.
Last night after taking a shower, I took the car out, parked at the beach, rolled down the windows, and turned up the tunes. I leaned the chair back and took the remote in hand so I didn't have to get up.
Yeah,that's the shiza right there!
I just wish Lauren was around.
Anyway, I'm going to banish that little voice once and for all real soon here. There is too much work to be done. I'm a soldier with a loooonnnnnnggggggg target list to service so whiny little voices have no future here.
There are times when it's been a real pain in the butt. I'll hem-haw and walk around in circles when I should be working out. That "little punk" (I sware I'm going to shoot that fool when I catch him!) suggesting I play with the cat, play my guitar, play Q3 freeze tag, play KoboDL. Everything BUT what it is I was trying to do.
This weekend was more of the same. I had a lot of things I wanted to get done. Tho I accomplished a good deal, I started off late because I was listenting to bonehead.
You know, about the only time when I'm alone and not plauged by this racket is when I have the mp3 player on my head or when some music is going in general. Then I just get into it and hours pass.
Anyway, it's certainly nice when you fight through and just get it done. I finally got the head unit, sub, and guage set out of Sylvanna and into Motoko as well as figuring out what some racket was under hard accelleration. I even started testing a Type H BOV I got at a yard sale. Oh, I also edged the front yard when I found my spare roll of line.
Last night after taking a shower, I took the car out, parked at the beach, rolled down the windows, and turned up the tunes. I leaned the chair back and took the remote in hand so I didn't have to get up.
Yeah,that's the shiza right there!
I just wish Lauren was around.
Anyway, I'm going to banish that little voice once and for all real soon here. There is too much work to be done. I'm a soldier with a loooonnnnnnggggggg target list to service so whiny little voices have no future here.
Saturday, May 24, 2008
T.R.A.F.F.I.C 2008 Orlando
Just got back from the T.R.A.F.F.I.C. East conference in Orlando and have to say that I really had a blast this time compared to others. I was also smart enough to attent the after parties this time and make some very very good and influential contacts.
For those that don't know, T.R.A.F.F.I.C conferences concern the Domain monetization industry wich on one hand deals with parking domains and on the other looks at domain as real estate. Very interesting thing if you hadn't considered it. As a matter of fact, it was a world completely alien to me until the Las Vegas event a number of months back. Now being "in" it, there is a good deal of opportunity regardless of the nature of the business being very much "in flux".
One very interesting personal realization was/is that SEO really isn't BS.I developed a negative attituded towards it about 4 years back as many (most) of the supposed SEO specialists I bumped into tended to be blow hards. After that, I got tired of listening to their crap and shut down to the entire community. Wel......, I was wrong to do that. Two very, very good companies that I've come across as of late are SEOP (seop.com) and webcastone.com. Rick Waters, the CEO for Webcast One is a great guy that is both exceptionally nice and exceptionally knowledgable.
Now I will say that I think there is an area that nobody has yet really learned how to take advantage of: Social Networking. On the last day of the conference, I suspsect I stumped the CEO's of SEOP and Webcast One when I asked how Social Networking will continue to play a role and/or grow in the activities of major SEO operators and efforts. While they acknowledged that it was a good question, it also stumped 'em. You could see the question marks painted on their faces and the eys pointing upwards and darting about.
After chatting with some of these guys later, I do believe they are sufferring from the industry view of how to make money. Too much focus on existing models like PPC and derivatives. It's my opinion that those do/will provide greater short term gain and will, depending on the site they are used on, be sustaining. However, they WILL NOT EVER HAVE THE POTENTIAL OF A WELL CRAFTED SOCIAL NETWORK OR COMMUNITY! Now perhaps that's a bold thing to say, but it's not without a foundation of observation from the likes of Joel Spolsky, Clay Shirky, and Neal Stephenson.
Now depending on how one aggregates these thoughts mentally, this could be a bit of leap, but my experience tells and suspicions tell me otherwise.
Another killer thing about this community building model is that it's future proof against the disapperance of a PPC revenue stream.
It's all simple really. Advertisers will go where the people are. Real successfull online communities tend to have a lot of people no? And if you think advertisers aren't willing to spend some dosh where the hordes of people regularly (like highways) then you aren't paying attention or the inside of your box is a little too comfortable.
Want an example of an ad driven site that's doing well? Toms Hardware.
One last observation along these lines. I suspect that the term "Social Network" brings to mind visions of bonehead predators, vacuous coeds with tawdry myspace pages, and Pink Razor carrying bimbettes. And if it's not something like that, then Twitter or Facebook or whatever. The reality of those types of networks is they are networks for the sake of being networks as opposed to being centered a particular topic or area(s) of common interested.
At least Ning differs in this way.
Anyway, it was a good show and I certainly hope to get up to New York or Australia for one of the next shows.
For those that don't know, T.R.A.F.F.I.C conferences concern the Domain monetization industry wich on one hand deals with parking domains and on the other looks at domain as real estate. Very interesting thing if you hadn't considered it. As a matter of fact, it was a world completely alien to me until the Las Vegas event a number of months back. Now being "in" it, there is a good deal of opportunity regardless of the nature of the business being very much "in flux".
One very interesting personal realization was/is that SEO really isn't BS.I developed a negative attituded towards it about 4 years back as many (most) of the supposed SEO specialists I bumped into tended to be blow hards. After that, I got tired of listening to their crap and shut down to the entire community. Wel......, I was wrong to do that. Two very, very good companies that I've come across as of late are SEOP (seop.com) and webcastone.com. Rick Waters, the CEO for Webcast One is a great guy that is both exceptionally nice and exceptionally knowledgable.
Now I will say that I think there is an area that nobody has yet really learned how to take advantage of: Social Networking. On the last day of the conference, I suspsect I stumped the CEO's of SEOP and Webcast One when I asked how Social Networking will continue to play a role and/or grow in the activities of major SEO operators and efforts. While they acknowledged that it was a good question, it also stumped 'em. You could see the question marks painted on their faces and the eys pointing upwards and darting about.
After chatting with some of these guys later, I do believe they are sufferring from the industry view of how to make money. Too much focus on existing models like PPC and derivatives. It's my opinion that those do/will provide greater short term gain and will, depending on the site they are used on, be sustaining. However, they WILL NOT EVER HAVE THE POTENTIAL OF A WELL CRAFTED SOCIAL NETWORK OR COMMUNITY! Now perhaps that's a bold thing to say, but it's not without a foundation of observation from the likes of Joel Spolsky, Clay Shirky, and Neal Stephenson.
Now depending on how one aggregates these thoughts mentally, this could be a bit of leap, but my experience tells and suspicions tell me otherwise.
Another killer thing about this community building model is that it's future proof against the disapperance of a PPC revenue stream.
It's all simple really. Advertisers will go where the people are. Real successfull online communities tend to have a lot of people no? And if you think advertisers aren't willing to spend some dosh where the hordes of people regularly (like highways) then you aren't paying attention or the inside of your box is a little too comfortable.
Want an example of an ad driven site that's doing well? Toms Hardware.
One last observation along these lines. I suspect that the term "Social Network" brings to mind visions of bonehead predators, vacuous coeds with tawdry myspace pages, and Pink Razor carrying bimbettes. And if it's not something like that, then Twitter or Facebook or whatever. The reality of those types of networks is they are networks for the sake of being networks as opposed to being centered a particular topic or area(s) of common interested.
At least Ning differs in this way.
Anyway, it was a good show and I certainly hope to get up to New York or Australia for one of the next shows.
Thursday, May 22, 2008
Too soon!
There is some energy inside. Something growing. A grillage failure that I knew would come, but expected to happen months later. This is far too soon. And the
wreckage seems it's going to be just as strong as if the construction had lasted the year I expected.
This is far too soon.
I was hoping for one of those summers. I was interested in one of those time frames where I climbed out of a valley I didn't know I was in and basked in a sun that
I really wasn't aware of. One of those summers where it's good to be wet in the sun and feel the grit of sand in your food. Where the fan is loud and chatting is
it's most comfortable. When the movies don't matter because it's not the point of the movie. Big hugs under full moons and gazing into a brilliant gaze.
I held her in my arms and cradled her head to my chest enrapt with the look of comfort and ease in her face. She would close her eyes and purr as my squeeze grew stronger
and pulled her closer into me, hanging her head back exposing her neck. That thin smirk of pleasure breaking across her face.
THIS IS FAR TOO SOON!
Every bit of my chemistry is screaming! Every sinew is crying out! Every bit of calmness is broken. There is a deep and desperate din, now just little more then a
whisper, getting louder from someplace deep and miles inside. An area of expression not heard in ages. A power not felt for an eternity. It's siesmic energy poised and
ready to lash out screaming what I don't want to hear. Acknowleding what I would rather not know. Forcing into me what I would rather not admit.
THIS IS FAR TOO SOON!
But I have Motoko. I miss what what little there was, but I have Motoko. And Motoko's call is sweet and soulfull. Her demands are clear. The failure to heed
terminal. But damn, does her engine bellow a sweet warning. That red heart spinning with vim and aggression, her note wavering as she rotates and laughs at the idea of
traction. Where I can't hold, I can accellerate. Where I can't be held, I can relax and drift. Where I can't be kissed, I can brake deep into the objective with power
and smoothness. And where I can yell and scream out a deep desperate cry I would rather not existed, Motoko can go positive ambient and crush the gainsayers while
ripping out her mellow roar.
wreckage seems it's going to be just as strong as if the construction had lasted the year I expected.
This is far too soon.
I was hoping for one of those summers. I was interested in one of those time frames where I climbed out of a valley I didn't know I was in and basked in a sun that
I really wasn't aware of. One of those summers where it's good to be wet in the sun and feel the grit of sand in your food. Where the fan is loud and chatting is
it's most comfortable. When the movies don't matter because it's not the point of the movie. Big hugs under full moons and gazing into a brilliant gaze.
I held her in my arms and cradled her head to my chest enrapt with the look of comfort and ease in her face. She would close her eyes and purr as my squeeze grew stronger
and pulled her closer into me, hanging her head back exposing her neck. That thin smirk of pleasure breaking across her face.
THIS IS FAR TOO SOON!
Every bit of my chemistry is screaming! Every sinew is crying out! Every bit of calmness is broken. There is a deep and desperate din, now just little more then a
whisper, getting louder from someplace deep and miles inside. An area of expression not heard in ages. A power not felt for an eternity. It's siesmic energy poised and
ready to lash out screaming what I don't want to hear. Acknowleding what I would rather not know. Forcing into me what I would rather not admit.
THIS IS FAR TOO SOON!
But I have Motoko. I miss what what little there was, but I have Motoko. And Motoko's call is sweet and soulfull. Her demands are clear. The failure to heed
terminal. But damn, does her engine bellow a sweet warning. That red heart spinning with vim and aggression, her note wavering as she rotates and laughs at the idea of
traction. Where I can't hold, I can accellerate. Where I can't be held, I can relax and drift. Where I can't be kissed, I can brake deep into the objective with power
and smoothness. And where I can yell and scream out a deep desperate cry I would rather not existed, Motoko can go positive ambient and crush the gainsayers while
ripping out her mellow roar.
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
Yeah, this is where I'm at right now.
On the car front, I pay for some of the bottom end and other custom work today. Woot! My machinist is an awesome guy with tons of experience. He has a gorgeous Stingray Vette that is in immaculate shape.
I drool!
So the block has been cleaned, some timing holes drilled in a cam gear, and my strut tower brace has been reworked a little. Now to buy pistons and bearings.
I also payed for my Cossie (Cosworth) .48 T3 hotside today. Woot!
I'm getting pretty close know to just being able to send it, an extra CHRA and some doe to G-Pop shop and have them build the custom unit I'm after. A T3/T4 with the Cossie hotside and a T04E 50 trim cold side. I just think I better pay for those pistons first.
Oh well
Monday, May 19, 2008
Guitar lovage
I think I'm starting a new improvement spurt in my guitar playing.
Just so you know, I've been playing since I was nine. Let's see...., I'm 41 now so that's 32 years right?
Now I'm not going to claim to be some guitar god but I can hold my own. However, I've really become a specialized instrument. I play what I like to play and play that rather well. A lot of other stuff that I don't care much for will be a challenge to some degree. Sure, I'll pick it up much faster then a noob, but I won't sound as tho i've been at 32 years either.
But whatever. Last night and this morning was great for playing. A passage that I had found a number of months back got some new stuff added to it. As a matter of fact, it's now just about a complete song. I can hear the singing and the guitar is in place.
The key, and this harkens back to the first sentence in this rant, is that it's difficult stuff. I've gotten into this thing or sound that requires slides to affect lightning fast position changes. It's funny how it started with another passage I wrote a couple of months back then worked it's way into the one in question. However, in finishing the song, it's now blossomed to a level of difficulty that almost has me feeling like a beginner.
But man does it sound awesome also!
It's a good thing I learned sometime back how to practice. In short, only play it as fast as you can play it perfectly.
Prolly the funniest thing I've learned in my playing in the last two years is how much the consideration of showmanship and performance increases as the difficulty of passages increase. I never gave it much thought before, but those lazy sloppy days have to go away to pull off the stuff I'm doing now.
BTW, this is my main guitar these days. Pretty well knackered, but I love it.
Just so you know, I've been playing since I was nine. Let's see...., I'm 41 now so that's 32 years right?
Now I'm not going to claim to be some guitar god but I can hold my own. However, I've really become a specialized instrument. I play what I like to play and play that rather well. A lot of other stuff that I don't care much for will be a challenge to some degree. Sure, I'll pick it up much faster then a noob, but I won't sound as tho i've been at 32 years either.
But whatever. Last night and this morning was great for playing. A passage that I had found a number of months back got some new stuff added to it. As a matter of fact, it's now just about a complete song. I can hear the singing and the guitar is in place.
The key, and this harkens back to the first sentence in this rant, is that it's difficult stuff. I've gotten into this thing or sound that requires slides to affect lightning fast position changes. It's funny how it started with another passage I wrote a couple of months back then worked it's way into the one in question. However, in finishing the song, it's now blossomed to a level of difficulty that almost has me feeling like a beginner.
But man does it sound awesome also!
It's a good thing I learned sometime back how to practice. In short, only play it as fast as you can play it perfectly.
Prolly the funniest thing I've learned in my playing in the last two years is how much the consideration of showmanship and performance increases as the difficulty of passages increase. I never gave it much thought before, but those lazy sloppy days have to go away to pull off the stuff I'm doing now.
BTW, this is my main guitar these days. Pretty well knackered, but I love it.
Friday, May 16, 2008
Just plain bad | Just plain good. Skinship > Wamu!
I went a long ways down in the last 12 hours and came a long ways back up. Now that may not make a lot of sense, and how could it without some background right?
A couple of weeks back a break down (tranny) put me in a real tight bind (well, it was actually my insistence on not asking for help (in some way) that doomed me to the present troubles). It was so bad as a matter of fact that when my primary account went negative the bank hit me for overdraft fee's totalling over 500 bucks! Suddenly not having the money to take care of some important bills, things looked pretty damn dark.
Now in the story of a lot of peoples lives this is the point where medication makes an appearance. Personally, I chose a different path long ago. However, there are still things that make a huge difference when you need just a couple of moments of bliss.
For me, that "couple of moments of bliss" is named Lauren. 5'8", beautiful and strong shoulders and arms, beautiful brown eyes, an amazing mane of brown hair, and absolutely crazy and rambunctious. She's is absolutely perfect!
Before many of you start to get too far into the gutter, just go ahead and stop right now. It's not that kind of thing. While we I adore each other to death, WE ARE FRIENDS!!! While I could very easily see myself being involved with her, it's most likely not in the cards for numerous reason for both parties.
That said, she, just like me, is very affectionate and intimate. She, just like me, rates intimacy well above sex. She just like me loves holding and being held. On top of that, she loves being at the beach.
I have a plan for her!
So no, we are not having sex. So no, we are not even kissing.
That said, there is an amazing affinity blossoming between the two of us. An amazing skinship. An amazing bond that I know is going to rip my guts out in a year or so when I move. The kind of crushing seperation that pushes parents that lose their children into depression and mates that lose their significants in the mad weight loss. The ever present empty feeling that hangs around for what seems like ages after you've learned how to breathe again.
Lauren put me in a good place last night. Instead of going to sleep full of dred and stress, I went to sleep with a smile on my face. I went to sleep smelling her on my shirt and pulling her hair out of my goatee. I went to sleep smiling thinking about her way out jokes and stories. I went to sleep thinking about how she was gorgeous in that long brown summer dress. I went to sleep thinking of those broad, strong, soft shoulders and the feel of her skin. And finally, I went to sleep totally happy that she is totally happy when she is with me.
Sooo Wamu 0: Lauren 1.
A couple of weeks back a break down (tranny) put me in a real tight bind (well, it was actually my insistence on not asking for help (in some way) that doomed me to the present troubles). It was so bad as a matter of fact that when my primary account went negative the bank hit me for overdraft fee's totalling over 500 bucks! Suddenly not having the money to take care of some important bills, things looked pretty damn dark.
Now in the story of a lot of peoples lives this is the point where medication makes an appearance. Personally, I chose a different path long ago. However, there are still things that make a huge difference when you need just a couple of moments of bliss.
For me, that "couple of moments of bliss" is named Lauren. 5'8", beautiful and strong shoulders and arms, beautiful brown eyes, an amazing mane of brown hair, and absolutely crazy and rambunctious. She's is absolutely perfect!
Before many of you start to get too far into the gutter, just go ahead and stop right now. It's not that kind of thing. While we I adore each other to death, WE ARE FRIENDS!!! While I could very easily see myself being involved with her, it's most likely not in the cards for numerous reason for both parties.
That said, she, just like me, is very affectionate and intimate. She, just like me, rates intimacy well above sex. She just like me loves holding and being held. On top of that, she loves being at the beach.
I have a plan for her!
So no, we are not having sex. So no, we are not even kissing.
That said, there is an amazing affinity blossoming between the two of us. An amazing skinship. An amazing bond that I know is going to rip my guts out in a year or so when I move. The kind of crushing seperation that pushes parents that lose their children into depression and mates that lose their significants in the mad weight loss. The ever present empty feeling that hangs around for what seems like ages after you've learned how to breathe again.
Lauren put me in a good place last night. Instead of going to sleep full of dred and stress, I went to sleep with a smile on my face. I went to sleep smelling her on my shirt and pulling her hair out of my goatee. I went to sleep smiling thinking about her way out jokes and stories. I went to sleep thinking about how she was gorgeous in that long brown summer dress. I went to sleep thinking of those broad, strong, soft shoulders and the feel of her skin. And finally, I went to sleep totally happy that she is totally happy when she is with me.
Sooo Wamu 0: Lauren 1.
Tuesday, May 13, 2008
And another! (Killer Emiliana Torrini song that is)
Oh my, this is a killer song. I got this feeling I'll be playing some guitar tonight.
Of course, the live versionrecording just doesn't do it justice.
Of course, the live versionrecording just doesn't do it justice.
Emiliana Torrini
I've long been seeing / hearing killer song after killer song pop up on as I listen to Lush / SomaFM from Emiliana Torrini.
First off, that's an awesome name!
Second: She's gorgeous!
But that really doesn't matter. What's cool is the music and her voice. As can be told from earlier posts, I love female singers and good chick music, if you want to call it that.
At this point in time, the song I want to play over and over again is Baby Blue. An awesome sound that harmonically manages to remind of the clever stuff from the Beatles and many musicians copied in the '70's. The guitar work during the chorus has a Cheap Trick sound, if you can believe that.
But listen to her voice. Kind of sweet and sharp or biting at the same time. Unmistakably female, there's also the same touch of a seemingly drunken Mazzy Star feel with regards to how some notes are handled.
I think music is one of the greatest gifts ever! To not enjoy something like this is a shame.
*** Ahh! OK! I remember now the other person she reminds me of. Yet another woman with an amazingly sweet voice. EDIE BRICKELL!!!
Man, I'm getting old. ROFL!!!!
First off, that's an awesome name!
Second: She's gorgeous!
But that really doesn't matter. What's cool is the music and her voice. As can be told from earlier posts, I love female singers and good chick music, if you want to call it that.
At this point in time, the song I want to play over and over again is Baby Blue. An awesome sound that harmonically manages to remind of the clever stuff from the Beatles and many musicians copied in the '70's. The guitar work during the chorus has a Cheap Trick sound, if you can believe that.
But listen to her voice. Kind of sweet and sharp or biting at the same time. Unmistakably female, there's also the same touch of a seemingly drunken Mazzy Star feel with regards to how some notes are handled.
I think music is one of the greatest gifts ever! To not enjoy something like this is a shame.
*** Ahh! OK! I remember now the other person she reminds me of. Yet another woman with an amazingly sweet voice. EDIE BRICKELL!!!
Man, I'm getting old. ROFL!!!!
Dragonfly down
It seems a friend of mine has gone away. At least I got a chance to send her a note. At least I got a chance to tell her how much I've missed her. To tell her how important she is to me and just how much affect she's had on my life.
Losing her the first time is what I imagine a parent feels when losing a child. An eternity of emptiness that ebbs away so slowly as to be barely noticeable. You just get used to it. You just become accustomed to feeling as tho you are wasting away, starving, and unable to breathe. Crushed!
How do you choke off love? How do you kill longing?
It's not easily or often that someone bores into me in this manner. That someone turns into a weed that grows in me stealthily. By the time I was aware, I was completely coopted. The daily injection of her was so regular, how could I have know that I was addicted? How could I have known that there was a dependence on her dry wit? How could I have known?
This is the price I pay for being open I guess. But if the alternative is cold brutishness, I'll take my chances.
Losing her the first time is what I imagine a parent feels when losing a child. An eternity of emptiness that ebbs away so slowly as to be barely noticeable. You just get used to it. You just become accustomed to feeling as tho you are wasting away, starving, and unable to breathe. Crushed!
How do you choke off love? How do you kill longing?
It's not easily or often that someone bores into me in this manner. That someone turns into a weed that grows in me stealthily. By the time I was aware, I was completely coopted. The daily injection of her was so regular, how could I have know that I was addicted? How could I have known that there was a dependence on her dry wit? How could I have known?
This is the price I pay for being open I guess. But if the alternative is cold brutishness, I'll take my chances.
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