Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Metal

Some people aren't going to understand this. That's OK because people seldom understand what I say it seems.

I listen to all kinds of Music. I mean all kinds of music! From Chopin to Bulgarian folk singing. I love what it all does. The open will understand what I'm saying.

But nothing makes me feel alive when I'm angered, thoughtful, or just simply busy like... Nothing makes me yearn for objective more then... Nothing makes me more happy
in the face of a storm then... Nothing centers me in my core and makes me happier to be me then... METAL!

Yeah, that loud sh1t that older people like me aren't supposed to listen too.

Yeah, that stuff that black people say white people are crazy for listening too.

Yeah, that stuff that mediocre people cringe when hearing.

Yeah, sure, just like with everything else, 90% of it sucks! But just like everything else, that remaining 10% is sweetest cream.

I'm here to tell you something. There is a goodness or attraction in every kind of sound. Every kind of music. Once you can get that kind of thinking into your head,
you'll find yourself suddenly open to a much bigger world then the one you exist in now. And once that's done, you are one step away from being in for the best f'en ride
of your life. You know what it's called? Life!

Yeah, I just implied that I don't think some of you are really alive didn't I? If you take offense, ask yourself why?

Implications aside, what are you afraid of? As a matter fact, WTF have I been afraid of?

But I'm straying.

Yeah, I'm angry. And on some levels, I want to stay angry. I want to keep looking far off. I want to keep yearning for something bigger then me. And when I'm thinking
about these things, it's good, thoughtful, huge, rich, hard as frack, Metal that I like listening too. When I get the bit between my teeth and commit, I want to hear
Metal. When the throttle is open and the boost is climbing, I want metal. When I'm deciding what I'm going to do about a generally fracked situation, I want metal.

Isn't life supposed to be granderous? Isn't life supposed to be huge. Yes, there are times when one needs to slow down and enjoy what and who is around them, but is that
all life is? Security and comfort? In a dying world like ours, when attrocity and calamity is just around the corner, do we really want to just be comfortable when there
is so little time? As if you ever really had a lot of time anyway? What we have is nothing! A short flash in infinity. Something completely unnoticed by the continuum.
And understandably, we cling to each other in tighter when we look at things that way. BUT(!), is that justification for mediocrity?

Has that been my excuse? I certainly think big and look at the big but am I doing big?

We are thinkers. We are creators. We are actors on a real stage that's a hell of a lot bigger and more interesting then the TV set. We have the capacity to do big. We
have the capacity to phathom the enormous. We have the ability to build the incredible.

And keeping that in mind, shouldn't we have a fucken' hard ass soundtrack to go with it?

Yeah, I feel like a monster. I feel like ten million bucks. Perhaps the run this morning shook something loose in my head. Or perhaps the realization that i've put on
the chains of normalcy lately has me angry at my own self delusion. Perhaps I'm finally waking up from this nightmare of knowing the way all my life but not walking it.
Perhaps I'm rebelling against something.

But yeah, I feel like a conqueror. I feel intense. I feel fast. Made of anger and objective. Kingly and knowing. Discerning. And I want a soundtrack to go along with
these feelings. A fuckin' huge and powerful, clever, intelligent, layered sound that is emotive and crushing. That ripples and shakes inward and outward. Something that
is both martial and disciplined, but providing of wonder and amazement.

I want it all!

Thursday, February 11, 2010

I think one must be possed at times to write code

I wrote this the other day.

$clean_time=(int) (trim(str_replace('pm', '', $raw_time))); $clean_time+=12;


This wasn't two days ago right. But I looked at it just a moment ago and had to laugh at how alien it looked. Now of course, it makes sense after just a moment of looking, but geez. Am I in some altered state when doing this crap?